As you could maybe tell from some of my blog posts, my health has been fluctuating quite a bit, leaving the doctors and therefore myself, wondering if I would make it to November 30. After many ups and downs with my health over the past couple of weeks, it was determined I would need surgery done sooner. Because we are dealing with a larger institution and a popular surgeon, it was hard to find a time to bump me up, but I’m incredibly thrilled to say that my surgery has been moved up to Friday, October 20!
I will say that I have felt good the past 3 days, relatively speaking, which is incredibly relieving. Last week was rough again with not only fluid build up, but then after clearing it, having low blood pressure, which meant setting aside the strict restrictions on my diet and lessen the meds to gain control of that again. The past 3 days though have been consistent, I have had a little more energy, and am not as short of breath, even with the humidity! A HUGE answer to prayer! This gives me confidence that I can make it to October 20!
I have a heart cath scheduled for this coming Wednesday, October 4, to determine what type of surgery I will have – open heart or an entrance through the ribs. Then on Friday, October 6, I have all of my pre-op testing done. It will be nice to put that behind me so that we can just enjoy the next two weeks, not having to worry about appointments and what the surgery will all entail, since we will know by then.
Even though I’ve been through one heart surgery, it does take a bit of mental preparation I am learning! After looking Mazy in the eyes yesterday, I started to cry, thinking of leaving her for awhile, knowing that I will wake up from surgery a very fragile person. There is an end in sight though! There will be a day when I will be able to lift her without thinking “will this be too much right now?” There will be a day when I can take her to the park without having to think twice, wondering if I can walk there? There will be a day when I can whip out the bike and trailer, and stroll down the streets of downtown Zeeland. There will be a day when I hopefully don’t have to plan my day around my diuretic medication and plan my errands with regards to where the nearest public restroom is. There will be a day, we pray, when I will have no reservations. Now THAT brings tears to my eyes – tears of utter joy! I truly cannot even imagine!
I know Mazy will be JUST fine. Toddlers are so resilient. What I am learning is that I am not. I honestly know it’s going to be harder on me than her, but I know the more I take care of myself, the quicker I will heal and the quicker I will be able to care for her again. And just be mommy.
We are counting down the days and could not be more thankful for an answer to our prayers, with having the date moved up! Lots to plan for and prepare for, but it will all come together. Like a friend said to me yesterday, God’s got this totally under control and she is so so right. I need to keep reminding myself of that when things start to get a bit chaotic.
One little detail that may not seem like a big deal, but to us it is: the Inn right on campus, well, it is adjacent from what we understand, from the ICU rooms where I will be staying at first. I had it booked for November when we first thought my surgery was going to be, but after having it switched to October, I called and they said they thought it was booked. It was for sure one day, but the lady said “let me have you talk to our general manager.” I waited for a bit on the phone, but whatever happened to that full day the night before my surgery, we were able to a FULL WEEK there (they say to book a week in case there are complications). That means Dan will not have to travel to and from the hospital everyday. That means that if he just needs a little break, he can just go back to the room and not have to worry about driving 15 minutes to the hotel, back, and what not. I know, such a minor detail, but in my eyes, it’s just another way that God is showing that He’s got this all planned out and He’s in control!
Much to be thankful for and we know the next 3-4 weeks are absolutely going to fly! Now to just enjoy the next few weeks and soak in all that God gives us in life!