Wow, crazy week! Many ups and downs, but of course the BIGGEST up, yet the SMALLEST, is our precious little ones in Brenda. Middle of next week we will find out if they stayed put! And we are also hoping for two :). Of course we would be overjoyed with one, but since we implanted two, we would love twins. But God is the only Creator and Sustainer of life, so they are in His hands.
I had a lovely conversation with Brenda today. Oh how I just love that woman! We just think where we have been, where we are going, and how so much is unclear, yet there is this overwhelming sense of peace that just fills us both. Yes we all have inklings of wonder whether it’ll work. In fact I thought this week was going to drag on and on because we would be so eager to find out. That eagerness is definitely there – but that worry and anxiety is not. Major blessing.
We think of all that we have been through the past few months. The tears. The weeping. The frustration. The laughter. The joy. I would not trade any of it. We ALL have grown so much. Our marriages are stronger. Our friendship is stronger. Our relationship with God, is stronger and more intimate. And now babies are hopefully growing. If they aren’t, that means we will continue to grow despite. As I put my hand on Brenda’s stomach this morning, I told her that we will be okay – no matter what. God has brought us through the disappointment of thinking we won’t have children, to this. We can go back there if needed. If God wants those two little ones with Him, where I know He will perfectly take care of them, then we need to let God (as if we have any other choice :)). But if God thinks that we should care for them here on earth, what a humbling gift. That God would give us the opportunity to care for hopefully two of HIS children. God’s mission is to advance His Kingdom so either way, we know God will work for the best and we will be changed forever. We are not taking any day for granted because truly each day, each moment, each baby, is a pure gift.
Brenda is feeling better, but still in some pain from the shots. She was able to find some relief through an alternative method, but her muscle has to heal. Please pray that God would heal her quickly! She is feeling back to her normal self, which I am so thankful to God for. I feel like my normal self – just minor cramping – but everyday is better and better! Please pray for Dan and I as it has been a rougher week in some ways, but we know God has got us in the palm of His hand. Even though it’s hard to know what direction to turn, God already has a blueprint – we just need to model it.
I feel like I have so much to blog about, topics I want to discuss, and it’s coming!