While attending the True Woman Conference this past weekend, there were many things I realized about my life. But one of the most impactful is that I believe lies. EVERY DAY.
I honestly didn’t think I did. When one of the speakers started to talk about truth and lies, I kept thinking, what lies am I believing? I felt I was in an okay place with my faith (I know I always have room to grow), but couldn’t think anything specific. Then the speaker drew something out me that I didn’t know was sitting in my heart as a lie:
Do I truly believe that Christ as ENOUGH for my situation?
I’ve been deceived into thinking that if only I was healed, that then I could truly be happy. That healing of my heart would give me peace and a purposeful life. Well, that really is a lie because in that, I’m trying to find peace and contentment in my circumstances, and not in God. And GOD alone.
It all came to head – did I truly believe that Christ was enough? Or did I need to clause it with healing too? I realized quickly that I was stuck in a lie that I needed more than Christ, in order find true joy. Of course I pray for healing. But maybe that isn’t how God would get the most glory? Perhaps His plan is to see me go through a LOT more, in order that His name will be furthered through my life? I go through phases in my life where I go back and forth on this one – yet I keep coming back to that apple – that lie, that maybe I need just a little something more…
I realized I had to give up my WHOLE life to Him, yet I was holding onto circumstantial hope. I haven’t been giving up every beat of my heart to Him. I haven’t been completely trusting Him in every moment, for the fact that I think for the “best” life, that I should experience healing. But. Getting to the point of true contentment in Him isn’t going to happen over night. But each day, as I make the choice to believe the truth that GOD IS ENOUGH, is a day that I choose to NOT believe that God is not enough.
It seems like such a simple act of faith. That duh, every Christian believes that God is enough. But truly – when the rubber meets the road, do we wish for things (external things) that we think will make us happy? Or do we fully rely on Him, on His “enoughness” to create contentment and peace within us?
I dare you to search your heart. Where do you find discontentment? What makes you worry? What situations are you wishing would go away? Is God enough? Do you believe that He IS enough? Or have you added a clause to your statement?
Do I believe God can heal me? Absolutely! But I’ve learned that maybe, just maybe, God has a much bigger plan that I could ever imagine. And sometimes I don’t like it, but I want to believe that God IS ENOUGH. And by God’s grace, I pray that I can one day reflect that well.