How are you? I struggle with that phrase. I always have. There is so much packed into that question. Today at Bible study I talked about how I struggle with that just b/c it can be a very informal question, though it’s a very personal one. If I ask someone how they are doing, I sure better be ready to listen to how they really are doing! Most mean well by the question, but do you ever have it when someone just kind of asks you that, while they continue to walk past you or don’t even look you in the eye? I get that a lot at the bookstore when I say “hi” to someone they say hi back, and ask how I am doing. Most probably don’t care, but it’s maybe the “appropriate” thing to say. Sometimes I just want to say – do you REALLY want to know how I’m doing? I am guilty of this as well, so I don’t want to come across as angelic about this situation. But going through something really hard makes it hard to even tell someone the truth about how you’re doing. Sometimes I want to just forget about it. Sometimes I get all teary eyed. Sometimes I’m fine. But I feel like in this society, our lives are so rushed that even if there was something on the heart, it’s hard to open up about it for fear of their response or even if they care.
I am blessed b/c at the bookstore, many come in for a certain book and there is a reason why they are getting this certain book. There are LOTS of broken people who come in and it’s just heart-wrenching to hear their stories. Sometimes I tear up with them. Sometimes just offering a hug. And most of all, just offering that ear. It’s at the bookstore that I learned to value the question “how are you.” Asking that question says “I really DO care how you’re doing and I am hear to listen.”
As I walk through this journey of grief, I am trying to be honest about who I am and what I am feeling. It’s just hard to figure out when to let it all out and when to just say “okay” and let it be. That is something I definitely am learning! God has blessed me with people where if they ask me, I can typically just let it out and for that I am so incredibly thankful! He will NEVER leave me hanging b/c I know that He truly cares how I am doing.