Changes. Changes are never easy. Changes are sometimes not welcomed. Sometimes I can be an ole fuddy-duddy Dutch girl who just wants things to always be the same – like sitting in the same pew every Sunday (no we actually don’t do that). As much as I don’t like change sometimes, I realize I’ve gone through tons of unexpected changes. I never thought I would have surgery at 17. I never thought I would go to a Bible college. I never thought I would move out of the farming town of Borculo. I never thought I would live on .15 of an acre 🙂 in St. Joseph. I never thought I would be sitting where I am today. I do know that I am starting to accept the changes that have recently happened. Here’s a few ways I feel God has changed me:
I feel I have become a little more introverted at times. Anyone who knows me knows I am a pretty out-going person. But I think since marrying Dan, someone who is an introvert, I think I’ve taken on some of those qualities, though I think in a good way. Because Dan is a youth pastor and essentially it’s his job, I can typically be found in the background of everything, never really leading, and I’m okay with that. I enjoy sitting back, seeing Dan excel in his job, the kids adore him, and even learn from my husband. Don’t worry, I still love to laugh and talk :).
I think because I have become a little more introverted, I also feel more free to write/type. I am blessed to be able to have a blog so that people know who Kristin is. Sometimes it’s really hard for me to talk about how I am and often I just say fine because I don’t want to talk about “stuff.” But I feel blogging has allowed me to still express who I am, how God is using us, and how God is using the situations He is taking us through.
Another way I have changed recently is how I view the things in life. Because of the recent happenings, I find myself umpteen times a day not wanting to take things for granted. For example, almost everytime I see a child, in my heart I think about that mom and hope she realizes how blessed she is. It just rips my heart to pieces when I see mother’s yelling at their children. BUT, I also see how being an aunt is such a special role too (whew, it’s making me all teary saying that). Today I was doing some Christmas shopping and how FUN it is to shop for kids :). I can still be a motherly figure in their lives, even though I may not be one myself. Secondly, though I learned this lesson early in life at 17, I was reaffirmed how precious and fragile life is. We may think we know what our life will be like, what we will do, what we will have, but God can take that ALL away if He wants to. Every morning I wake up, I often think “another day…wow.” It’s another day to praise God, live out His image, and live out my faith.
I have also changed in how I view my Savior. I feel so close to Him. My faith has grown so much! When I get negative thoughts in my mind, I right away try to think about God and what He is trying to do. God has taught me so much through His Word lately, and I am so grateful for that. I know before all this I felt close to God, but I view Him literally as right next to me. When I start to cry, my mind soon wanders to thoughts of Him – thoughts of why God, but also of letting go of what I can’t control. I also have had to surrender everything – something I’ve had a hard time doing. I view God as obviously capable of handling all my issues, so why not surrender them ALL to Him?
I also have changed in how I view each day. I know I already hit on that a little, but I KNOW I am living for a bigger purpose. Sometimes I get so caught up in each day and just get stuck in a routine, without LIVING with purpose. I’ve tried to take more time for myself in all this to learn what I am supposed to do in each day. Each day is a blessing. Each day is another day to glorify my God. Though I don’t know the purposes of the challenges He has brought us through, I know each day that He has me here on earth, is for a purpose and it’s to glorify Him.
I know there may be some unanswered questions out there that you may be wondering. Whether it’s about me, our situation, my heart, etc. Please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. That way it’s personal too. Like I said earlier, I am open to talk about it all, but sometimes in person it may be hard for me to be completely open to talk about this all. So, if you have questions, shoot them to me and I WILL respond 🙂
Changes – God uses them for the good. God uses them to fulfill His story in us. I’m sure there are many more changes in me, but those are just a few that God has really pointed out to me.