Over the past week or so, Dan and I have spent some time looking at life insurance. We have met with a few people to discuss what it all means and one of the first comments we have heard was “not that anyone wants to talk about these things.” I have put some thought into that as I have heard those words over and over.
But then I think, why not? No monetary value can give me assurance. No monetary value can ever take the pain away of losing someone. That is where my assurance in my Savior comes in. That is what we want to talk about.
Since we have spent some time talking about our “end of life,” it wasn’t but a year ago, when we were faced with the end of lives. Lives that were so precious to us, yet unborn. Lives that changed our lives, yet now rest in God’s hands. Lives that are now part of our story, yet we praise Him all day long.
We rest assured.
What does that really look like?
In talking about death, the reality of my heart condition comes to light. Oh we pray that one day God would perform a miracle and heal me. Yet at the same time, we have come to terms that if I end up having heart issues the rest of my life, it doesn’t mean God didn’t hear or that He loves us less. What I have to think about is do I, Kristin, love God less. Through all the doctors appointments, frustrating side effects of having open heart surgery, does it mean God loves me less? Sometimes as humans, we equate our love for God with how much He does or doesn’t do for us. It was in the moments of losing our unborn children, that our love for God and assurance in Who He was, that was tested. Would we love God less because our prayers were not answered the way we wanted them to be? Would we love God less because of the risk carrying a child would be? Would we rest in the assurance that He IS ours, that I in my Savior, am happy and blest? In a time of such pain, we knew that this was now our story and that our reaction was now to praise Him all the day long.
Losing someone close to you or losing someone you never physically met, is an empty and hollow feeling. Yet it is in death, where we get a taste of that glory divine. There is a longing for Heaven, for seeing Him face to face, for seeing the loved ones gone too soon, that brings into reality that our citizenship is not here on earth. Though the pain on this earth may seem too much to bear, there IS a BLESSED ASSURANCE that Jesus is OURS. That is the hope that Dan and I have clung to. That is the hope we humbly pray others will see. A hope that no man or situation can take. Because THIS is our story and we pray God will give us the grace and ability to sing it all day long.
So as we continue to plan for our future, we plan wisely, yet we know that our lives here are but a breath. And we rest in blessed assurance, knowing we are lost in His unconditional love. What a comfort and what a peace that is…to be lost in love.
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
born of his Spirit, washed in his blood.
This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long.
2. Perfect submission, perfect delight,
visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
angels descending bring from above
echoes of mercy, whispers of love.
3. Perfect submission, all is at rest;
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
watching and waiting, looking above,
filled with his goodness, lost in his love.