Last Friday, while walking on the treadmill at rehab, I was ready to run the race. I was talking with the nurse, wanting to go faster and faster, but she reminded me that “slow and steady will win the race.”
She was right. Within a few minutes, my heart rate increased and I had a harder time catching my breath. On Monday, I increased the .2 that was recommended in speed, but my blood pressure dropped and I became lightheaded.
I have to admit, rehab has been the BEST thing for me and yet at times so challenging. I have learned that we all have a story to tell there, but we are all striving towards the same goal. Some are faster and further ahead than others, but the prescribed workout is unique to each individual. I am no different.
I remember running at a 5.5-6.0 on a treadmill and I struggle stay at a pace of 3.2. It has been an incredible wake up call, but one that I am learning to embrace. Knowing that I am able to walk is an incredible feeling. I remember the feeling of not being able to. I remember trying SO HARD to put one foot in front of the other, and not having the strength to do so. That was only a short 3 months ago and I remember like it was yesterday. But when you start to make progress, it’s hard to not want to do more and more and more…
But slow and steady, will win the race.
Especially with the heart. I have learned an incredible amount about the heart, MY heart, and how intricate the body really is. I am so thankful that I have the privilege to go to cardiac rehab because if I were doing this at home, I would over do it and probably end up getting very dizzy, fatigued, and unable to make any progress. It may take me over a week (or more) to increase my speed, but I am learning to live out this new motto in my life.
On Thursday I go in for a check up, as a mentioned earlier, and I am so ready! I am realizing that it is maybe a little sooner of a check up than I expected, but I know that with each check up is one check up closer in the healing process. I will also have an appointment with the surgical team to look at my rib that is still displaced. A few times a week, it pops out of place and you can see it poking out beyond my shoulder blade. It looks more awkward than anything, but it also is tender. I am sure there isn’t much they can do, but it is something that is still not “normal” and is something of concern. Hopefully some answers are found.
The other day, I told Dan that I can easily get discouraged. I am still grieving the fact that I will always have heart issues, when after the first surgery, I was hoping I could say sayonara to them, but God has decided that is not what is best for me. I sometimes think that a “good life” is one free of pain, trials, and challenges. When in reality, a “good life” is one that consists of growing closer to Christ, no matter what the cost.
2 Corinthians 12:9 – My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
When I think about “slow and steady will win the race,” I think that also applies to my spiritual life as well. There will be tough times in the journey and we can run full tilt, but it’s easy to burnout, not make changes that last, but also not take time to sit back and realize that truly in our weakness is where God’s strength is. It’s in our weakness that God’s grace is most evident. It’s when I realize my downfalls and my sin, that His grace becomes more clear to me.
It’s a process and a slow one at that. But the more I walk through life, the more I find myself trusting and hoping in the very Savior that gave me that hope in the first place. Slow and steady will win the race in more ways than one! We serve a patient and loving God who is willing to accept us no matter where we are in our journey and story. Now that’s what I call grace!