I know I often talk about embracing our stories. It’s something I am eager to talk about and can’t stop talking about (as if I ever do), when it comes to that subject. But the more I live this life and walk the journey towards glory, I am realizing that when we can keep perspective of the big picture, it can help us conquer anything that we face.
I think I went through some sort of denial process with this recent surgery. I played it off – it wasn’t open heart surgery, and I figured if I could get through those, that I could get through this. And I knew that to be true. But I failed to allow myself to just be real about it. I wanted to go into it confident, but there’s a difference between confidence and sweeping it under the rug. God had teachable moments for me during this surgery too. Every moment, is with a purpose – especially when we hold it up to the light of the bigger picture.
The analogy of a puzzle just makes sense to me – of course being a puzzle lover, this is easy. All those puzzle pieces are the days of our life – and as we put them together, they create this perfect picture. Some of the edges are jagged, and hard to fit in. Those are the times when we question why this has to be a part of our life – or trying to find understanding. I feel like I have a lot of jagged pieces – you too?
But anytime I start to question, I try to keep the focus on the greater picture – this masterpiece that God is slowly giving me the pieces to. And to be quite honest, I feel honored that He is choosing to do that. To allow me to put them together and grow in my faith and understanding of who God is. To be the very hands that can display His glory and put those pieces together. Even though God holds the big picture, we have the opportunity to be in the “game” too. What an honor.
As I look back at this recovery, it hasn’t been one of ease. But that doesn’t negate the fact that God isn’t doing something marvelous through it. It has allowed me to accept help again, which most of you know, Kristin isn’t great at. But I feel I’ve had enough practice (at least you’d think), that I’m starting to accept the fact that I can’t do life alone. Especially life as chronic heart failure patient. I’ve napped almost twice a day, each day, which is VERY unlike me, but so healthy for the healing journey. I’ve spent time thinking about God – more than I normally do because I have time to do that, as I’m falling asleep. I’ve been able to see my daughter have this deep love of caring and ensuring Mommy is okay. Dan and I have been able to get through another surgery together and we sure are growing together through it.
I see the greater picture coming together. And so many people are a part of my greater picture, with the center being God. But I’m learning that in order to see the greater picture, I can’t overlook what God is doing in the day to day – even if something comes across as an “easy surgery” in my head. God will humble that thought quickly (and here I’m a person who often says to others having surgery, pain is pain – surgery is surgery – they are no joke!) Well, I need to tell myself that too.
Look at your puzzle pieces. Which pieces do you have in your hand right now? As you fit them in, are you seeing a greater picture? If not, have you asked God to help you see that bigger picture?