Back to the “intentional” blogging, though it may take a turn here and there…
So what’s new? Well, we are resting in waiting. I’ll be honest that sometimes I get a little restless in wondering what God has up His sleeve for us, but those moments only last for a short time and am able to “rest” in waiting. I will say, this time has been AWESOME because we both have been able to grow in so many ways. God has challenged us, had us in tears, yet we have had such joyous times as well. We have been able to read books we have been wanting to read. We have been able to learn about things we have wanted to learn about. We have been able to do things we have wanted to do. All in preparation for wherever God is leading us – and truly we are open to wherever.
Like I said yesterday in lessons learned in Belize, we have this strong desire to just share the joy we have in Christ, with people. We know God is preparing our hearts for the ministry He has already set for us. We know He has a place for us and for the passions that we have. Until then, we are just going to keep fueling these passions through reading, praying, and learning. We miss ministry. We miss doing life with youth. I kind of relate it to a race or game. I feel we are practicing, getting prepped for the “game” or the place God has for us. All of these things that we are doing in the meantime, are in preparation – and that too, is needed. So, yes, it is a gift. We are so thankful for this “prep” time, for time to refocus after all that has occured in our life.
I know you are probably sick of me talking about “hunger,” but two more story. The day we were going to leave Belize, a lady had asked if we had rice for her. I guess someone had told her that we were going to get some for her. I was not aware of that, so I said I’m sure we have some we can get her – she was upset that I did not know about it. She said “so, you forgot me then.” I wasn’t quite sure what to say to that and I suppose that comment could be taken a few ways. All she wanted was some rice and to be “forgotten” (though she wasn’t and we did have some for her), was a slap in the face to her. Second story: when we were handing out bread and cheese at night, I knew some of the guys were coming back for seconds (or maybe even thirds). I have been in conversations with people who have said “they have to just be thankful for what they get and not be greedy.” I tried to understand where that person was coming from, but at the same time, I put myself in the homeless person’s shoes (if they have any). If bread and cheese or rice was going to be the only meal I get, I am going to JUMP at the opportunity! In America, if we like something, we can often afford or have the opportunity to get more of it. I think we are “greedy” without even recognizing it. I fall into that SAME trap! I find something I like and I buy more of it. Think about this: someone comes around with a box of chocolates and you take one. You realize how good it is and see that there is some left and you ask for another (because lack of chocolate in the United States is not an issue :)). Yet we get bothered when a homeless person is not “happy” or “content” with what they get? I have found myself in that thinking before and I regret ever having that thinking. If bread and cheese or rice was my ONLY meal that day and I knew there was more in the bag, would I, MYSELF, not ask for more? Physical hunger and the ability to NOT fill that hunger is something I have never experienced. So WHO AM I to ever think “just be happy with what you get?” I can’t say I ever had that feeling in Belize, but I know that thought has crossed my mind back in the day. I regret that.
I say all of that because it makes me so much more thankful for what I do have, and much more willing to give away what we do have. God has really been challenging both Dan and I in this concept. You would think when money is tighter, that our desires to keep what we have would increase, but it has only decreased. God has been tweaking our thought patterns, the way we live, what we spend money on, and our desires. We are humbled that He is taking the time to do this in our life and thankful that God cares about the littlest details of our life. Again, we are thankful for this time in our life, for the chiseling process is well worth it!