I’m pretty sure that when you read the title of this post, that it meant out of frustration. Isn’t that when we often times throw up our hands? As if we have nothing left to give? When there is nothing else you can do in a situation?
Something Mazy has always struggled with is sleep. I know, there are FAR worse things to struggle with in life. I completely realize that. It’s just that sometimes the lack of sleep can get daunting. Thankfully she still naps so that means this girl can too! The past few weeks, she has just struggled sleeping at night. She wakes up crying and when we go in there to tell her to go back to sleep, she says “stay mommy” or “stay daddy.” We have tried the crying it out method and after 1 hour, with no end in sight, we decided that maybe there is just something more to it. In our minds, she has adjusted FAR better than we could have ever imagined in moving. Though maybe she still fears that we are going to leave her? We don’t know.
Nevertheless, she is up for 3-4 hours at times, wide awake. As HAPPY as can be, with not a tear in sight if we are with her, but she just can’t sleep. Honestly we feel sorry for her, but then during those times it also means we are not sleeping. She has had a rough past few nights and I finally got to the point where I thought I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t stay awake when she was, and thanks to my heart meds, I started to not feel well being up so long in the middle of the night. Dan is a rockstar and takes a “shift” when she lets him, but usually she only wants momma. Which don’t get me wrong, I LOVE our daughter and love spending time with her. But when it’s sleep time, it’s sleep time. Right?
Well last night, I finally said to Dan, I’m not sure I can do another night like the night before. You see, every night that we remember, we pray that Mazy would sleep well, but it’s almost become a habit prayer, partially said with not much faith. To be completely honest. Do you ever have those? Last night I told Dan, we need to pray extra hard, that Mazy sleeps through the night. And in my heart, I told myself I’m going to believe that she can. So we prayed.
Folks, you can about guess what happened. You bet! SHE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. Not a peep until 8:00am, which that in and of itself was an answer! She not only slept through the night, but slept IN. I woke up, looked up, and smiled. And maybe even giggled a little. The first thing I did when I opened my eyes was thank God for a night of sleep. Of solid, hard, restful sleep.
Dan asked Mazy this morning what was different about last night? Of course she doesn’t really have an answer, but really, there is no answer. That is when we throw up our hands and say there is no answer, but GOD. It was ONLY GOD. We did nothing different, but maybe prayed with more of a believing heart. I’m not saying that now every time we pray that God is going to grant us the same. Maybe He will, maybe He won’t. All I know is that He knew what we all needed, and that was a night of good, solid, restful sleep.
When in your life, have you just thrown up your hands, realizing there is no answer, BUT GOD? When there is no explanation, BUT GOD?
This morning as I was thinking about how this all played out, I thought about writing a blog post about it. I kept telling myself, nah, that’s ridiculous to write a blog post about Mazy sleeping through the night. She’s 2 1/2. But then I realized that this isn’t about us. This is about God. How God can work through the most ordinary ways, show Himself in such subtle, yet BIG ways. How He can show Himself in our lives through the quiet of sleep and rest.
That’s when I can’t help but throw up my hands and say “IT’S ALL GOD!’