Indescribable Feelings of Healing

As much as I love to write and talk, I sometimes have a hard time putting words to my thoughts.

(For those who know me personally, this may come as a shocker, I know :)).

When Dan and I were considering moving to Minnesota, we just kept praying and asking God to make it abundantly clear. When we came out to Minnesota for Dan’s interview, we left not being able to put into words our experience. We were speechless at the tug God put on our hearts for the kids and people of these towns. We didn’t quite understand at that time what it was that was drawing us here. Words were hard to come by.

When they had called and officially offered Dan the job, there were not words to express our delight and excitement over this opportunity. Again, we prayed and prayed – but it was deep down and through the moving of the Holy Spirit, that we just knew this was where God was calling us. Again, hard to explain – it was supernatural.

Now living here. People have been so generous in asking us how we are doing and how the adjustment as been going. It is sometimes hard to put into words.

It is in the quiet times on our walks or while we are trying to fall asleep, that we are best able to express to each other our feelings. When someone asks us how we are doing, there are so many emotions and feelings that come to mind – and let me reassure you, they are feelings and emotions of peace.

The feeling of peace we have, is indescribable.

There is excitement in our voices. There is a pep in our step. There have been numerous tears of joy, as we have sat on our couch, watching God work in miraculous ways in us and through others.

My friends, we are healing.

To say those words, brings tears to my eyes. It may seem odd to say this, but healing is a painful road too. Healing means bringing up past experiences and talking about them. Healing means crying even when you so badly just want to push those emotions and feelings aside. Healing means opening up our hearts in order to allow others in. Healing means showing true colors and being vulnerable with others. Healing means letting go of any pride we cling to as we chip away at the brokenness and replace it with God’s peace, grace, and love. Healing takes time.

I feel God has brought us to a place of healing. Healing I believe is something only God can bring – but in that, I believe God uses others as instruments in that healing. I am not saying we did not experience healing where we came from. In fact we experienced quite a bit of healing there. But moving to Minnesota, we have realized there have been emotions we have not dealt with and it is time – AND, God has surrounded us with people who are ready to help us deal with them. For all too long, we pushed aside some of the pain and hurt, in order to just move forward. But we are now able to deal with some of the deepest hurts and wonderings and for that, all glory goes to God.

There is something about losing two children and the events that went along with that, that completely turned our world upside down. Dan recently shared with the youth group how it was some of the darkest days of our life. I will never forget the day we just sat on our basement stairs at our old house in complete brokenness in not knowing where to turn, what to do, or what to even feel. I think we needed that moment because it was through that, that God continuously showered us with His love and our families and close friends to pick us up. Little did we know, what those circumstances would lead to. Little did we know that months later, God would lead us to Minnesota.

It has hard to put into words, what our move to Minnesota has meant to us. It was difficult to say goodbye to family and friends – at first we saw it as one more “goodbye” and the thought of having one more “loss,” was overwhelming. But every time we came out to Minnesota, our feelings of loss were replaced with feelings of gain – of find a place we could call home. It was hard to explain. How do you express to others that a place where you barely know the people, that you could call that HOME, so SOON? That is what we could. Of course Michigan will always be “home.” But Minnesota is home too. Because here is where God wants us and it is here that we feel peace. Can I just get an “amen to God” for that? God has brought us to a place of healing. God has brought us to a place of family and friends. We feel so incredibly loved, accepted, and cared for.

I am realizing I am going to have to do more blog posts on this subject because I could keep writing! As I was jogging today, I just realized that I need to be open and honest about what God is doing in us – that is the whole point of this blog. To tell of what God is doing in our life. I hope as you read these posts, that you will just praise God and just understand that we serve a God who loves us as a Father would love his daughter and son. We feel that. And that same God, loves, cares for, and desires only good for you too. So no matter WHAT you may be going through, HE WILL lead you through the valley. Just trust Him. His promises never fail.

So here’s to trying to put my thoughts into words :)…