Welcome! Thanks for stopping by! Each of us has the privilege of not only embracing the story God has given us, but to share it. You may think that your story may not be worth sharing, but let me reassure you that God has you here, right now, for a very specific purpose in time, to serve Him in His Kingdom. I don’t want you to miss any opportunity to share what God has done in your life, so this blog hopefully is an encouragement to you, to embrace the story God has given you!
I blog for a couple of reasons:
- To give glory to God alone
- To keep in touch with family and friends, both near and far
- To share our story and encourage others to do the same
- To build a relationship with my readers
As for my story…
My husband and I have been married since 2006 and are currently living in West Michigan, doing youth ministry. We were both born and raised in the mitten state, met in college, and have a daughter, Mazy Grace, born in 2015, and have two babies in heaven.
Let me stop there and explain a bit more:
In 2000, when I was 17, I was diagnosed with a rare heart condition called an anomalous left coronary from the pulmonary (ALCAPA). A month later, I had open heart surgery to correct the problem. At that point, my mitral valve was leaking just mildly, so doctors didn’t want to touch that valve because most healed after the surgery. Well, the leaking in my mitral valve had increased to a moderate/severe stage, and by 2010, it would be very risky for me to have my own child. Dan and I felt it was not worth risking my life, which meant we had to grieve what we would not have: our very own child.
Little did we know that as we were grieving this “loss,” God was working in the hearts of our friends, Tim and Brenda. On October 10, 2011, Brenda offered to carry our baby(ies). After much prayer and tears of humbleness at their offer, we accepted. After a long journey in planning for this process, we found out Brenda was pregnant on September 5, 2012. Though, that same day, Dan also learned he had been let go from the church he worked at as a youth pastor because of some decisions we had to make around the gestational carrier process. Then three short weeks later, Brenda had her first ultrasound and we learned that God had taken our two babies to their eternal home. It was extremely hard to let them go, but in our hearts we believed God was sovereign and would continue to work His plan to perfection.
Then get this.
In May of 2014, at my routine heart checkup, we found out that God had miraculously healed my heart, enough to the point that my heart was healthy enough to carry a child. God had restored our hope of having our own children, in such a personal way! A month and a half later, we found out we would be having a child in March 2015! Words could not even express the joy and humility we felt – that God would choose to act in this way in our lives.
On March 17, 2015 at 6:52pm, our baby girl, Mazy Grace was born! She was 8 lbs. 2 ounces and 22 inches long. Our little miracle.
Even though my pregnancy and the birth couldn’t have gone better, I went into heart failure days after her birth. It was a trying and scary time for us and our families, but a year after having her, we received the news that God had healed my heart ONCE AGAIN!
Unfortunately, in May of 2017, we learned that my heart had once again declined. We were set to move back to Michigan, closer to family in June of that year, so we waited to meet with a cardiologist at the University of Michigan (recommended by my cardiologist). After many tests, I finally had my open heart surgery scheduled for November 30, 2017, but my heart proved it could not wait that long. It was bumped up to October 20, where I had a right thoracotomy, to repair my mitral valve. Five days after being home from the hospital, I landed in the ER and was flown via helicopter back to the University of Michigan, with yet again, a failing mitral valve. The sutures had blown, after the tissue surrounding the repaired valve, calcified. It was a very uncertain time for our family, knowing that I was not even healthy enough to have another open heart surgery, but needed one desperately. After many tests and God’s mighty healing hand through a very difficult time, I found myself once again, on the operating table on November 6, 2017 for a S,ECOND open heart surgery, this time through the sternum, to replace my mitral valve with a cow’s valve and to repair my tricuspid valve.
It was a bumpy road after those two surgeries, especially after spending 16 days in the hospital for that second surgery. Yet God has proven Himself faithful, time and time again. Even when my medical diagnoses were not favorable.
I have always enjoyed writing, all the way back to a young writer’s convention I went to. After those open heart surgeries, I felt God nudging me to write a book. Never did I imagine it being about MY life. God has given me a story to tell (like He has done for everyone) and I just felt I could not keep it silent anymore. And now, a book has been born out of that dream: A Heartbeat of Grace. It is available to purchase HERE from me (where I am able to sign it if you’d like – just let me know) and on Amazon!
Since I wrote “A Heartbeat of Grace,” I have been labeled as being in Stage 3 advanced heart failure and am on the brink of needing a heart transplant. I thought heart failure was enough of a journey to walk through, but God had a different idea.
On September 15, 2022, I went to the University of Michigan hospital for my 4th ablation. This was to try and decrease the number of extra beats my heart was having. It felt a bit routine, but nothing about this procedure ended up being routine. I was already put out, and the surgeon double-checked my blood counts. Some seemed a little off, so they retested my blood, and they only showed that some counts were even worse. My white blood cells. Thus began a journey we never saw coming.
When I came to, the doctor said they were not able to do the procedure because of my blood counts. A few hours later, a hematology doctor began to explain that they think I might have cancer and then an hour later, that it was leukemia. By that night, I was brought up to the cancer floor where I would be for 3 weeks straight. It was an incredibly difficult time as I was limited to the number of visitors I could have, the chemo made me feel fairly sick at times, and there were a handful of times I wanted to throw in the towel because of the pain I was in. I basically went through about every stage of grief in a few days time, but God continued to provide our daily bread. I then spent the next 4 months, doing consolidation treatments, where I spent one week a month at the hospital for treatment.
By March, my numbers were clear! And we thought we were in the clear.
Then in June of 2023, 4 months since my last treatment, one of my cancer tests had come back positive, and a few months later, was officially told I relapsed. As we began to discuss what treatment options were available, the doctors discussed doing a double transplant – a heart AND bone marrow transplant at the same time. We would’ve had to move to a different state to have this done. The next day, I had an ECHO, where we learned that my heart function miraculously improved so significantly that I was disqualified from a heart transplant, and could now have JUST a bone marrow transplant, and have it done more locally. We found an international donor who was the perfect match! Then in January 2024, I had my bone marrow transplant, where I spent another 3 weeks in the hospital, and am now in the process of recovering from that. It is a very long road (am told it’s a marathon), but we just pray that this is the end of my cancer journey and that God would continue to sustain my heart so that we don’t have to consider a heart transplant in the future as well.
We are humbled at the healing God has given me, and are trying to live every moment in the grace God gives us daily, as we seek to follow Him and the call He has put on our lives. Part of that call had been the nudge to write a book! I started it back in 2014, when I was pregnant with Mazy, though the real dream started years and years ago. I have always enjoyed writing, all the way back to a young writer’s convention I went to. That call definitely wasn’t small, but I never imagined it being about MY life. God has given me a story to tell (like He has done for everyone) and I just felt I could not keep it silent anymore! And now, a book has been born out of that dream: A Heartbeat of Grace. It is available to purchase HERE from me (where I am able to sign it if you’d like – just let me know) and on Amazon!
I will say, I hope this won’t be my last book either. God has done an incredible amount in our lives since my last book and I would love continue to share the journey God has us on through another one someday.
By all means, I am not a professional writer. Don’t expect a grammatically correct post because I blog like I speak. I actually enjoy “editing,” but clearly I do not practice those hobbies on this blog. I want each post to be real, as if you were sitting across from me in a coffee shop. So pick up that cup of your fav, and join me on this journey!
