To The Person On The Other Side

I get it. Loud kids can drive people crazy sometimes. I used to have those same thoughts. When I was naive and in my 20s, I didn’t get it. I didn’t get that kids just acted up when you least expected them to and sometimes when it’s the least appropriate time.

The other day I was at the store getting some cards and Mazy started to fuss a bit. In my book, it was just a “I don’t know what I want” fuss, not a cry. No tears, no kicking and screaming. This happens frequently, but I wasn’t thinking much of it. She saw a card with a dog on it and thought that was big stuff so she started to bark at it and get really excited. Well, then the fussing came again. As I was looking for a card, I could hear an older woman on the other side say really loud “That little boy sure isn’t happy!” And she continued to go on about it. Speaking loud enough it seemed to make sure I heard her.

First of all, the little boy is a girl.

Mazy also was not that out of control – I have seen Mazy completely lose it (has happened a few times in doctor’s offices where we have spent plenty of time). I just wanted that lady to come over to my side and realize that things were not as out of control as what she may have thought them to be.

There were other people on the other side of the card rack too and I could hear her telling the other lady that the “little boy” was not happy. I just wanted to say outloud “Mam, I know she is bothering you so I am going to leave.” Without saying a word I just pushed my little cart over to the cash register and checked out. I walked out not finishing my shopping and left with a depleted confidence (for about 2 seconds).

Then I realized no Kristin, it was okay. Mazy couldn’t express to me in words what she needed, and that’s okay. We will figure it out. And you know what? She liked that dog card and I am happy she let me know how much she liked it. I wouldn’t change Mazy one iota, even if that lady thought my “little boy” was getting too unhappy and was making her uncomfortable.

But then I realized it was a lesson learned. A few days prior I was in another store and a mom was getting pretty angry at her about 3 year old daughter. The daughter started to act up and the mom started to yell and get physical with the child. I started to get a little uncomfortable and I could see Mazy was rather concerned. so I just quietly moved my cart to another area and went on our business. I felt sorry for the child who was making a big scene, but also for the mom who was just trying to gain control. And maybe it was the 20th time that child was making a scene that day and the mom was to her wits end. Even though I maybe didn’t agree with how physical she was getting with the child, I didn’t know the situation and I needed to seek to understand before seeking to be right.

I didn’t know what was going on in that mama’s life in the store whose child was getting a little crazy. And who was I to judge that? Of course if I see something illegal yes, I will act on it. But after my little incident with the person on the other side of the card rack, it made me realize that we as mothers do the best we can.

I would love for everyone to have the chance to meet little miss Mazy because she just brings us so much joy and I want everyone else to feel that joy too. She lights up our life, makes us laugh, and keeps us on our toes. She maybe isn’t the most contented child, but that’s okay. Thanks to a dear friend after Mazy was born, who watched her for a few hours every week so I could run my errands. I did that because the few times I tried, Mazy cried inconsolably and it was a head turner for many in the store. So I gave in and let my friend step in. But now I feel like I am more confident as a mom and if Mazy loses it, so be it. She is 16 months old and it’s okay.

So to the person on the other side:
I know that children may get unruly, but think back to those years for you. I know that those “loud” years are probably a distance away, but put yourself in a mama’s shoes for just a moment. We are doing the best we can. Kids are kids and we love them for who they are. Please seek to understand the situation before letting everyone else know that you are unhappy with how unhappy my child is. Please come over to my side and see that the situation was not as horrible as what it sounded like. You maybe would have appreciated that she was so excited about that dog card and appreciated the little things in life.

To all the mamas out there:
You are doing the best you can. I can now laugh at that situation, but after it happened I was pretty flustered. So flustered I even forgot to grab the bag my cards were in and the cashier had to shout for me to grab them (glad she realized it!) But after taking a moment to think about the situation, I am glad it happened. We’ve all been there. Our kids will get unruly at times and it’s only because they don’t know how to control their emotions. It’s a beautiful lesson we have the opportunity to teach our children. Don’t let the person on the other side deplete your confidence. If they don’t take the time to walk over to your side, to understand where you are coming from, it’s not worth the worry.

I am thankful Mazy has a voice to let me know what she wants, even though words don’t always come, And even more so, I am thankful for a child who loves dogs and expresses that love through her barking, even if it’s just at a card. Oh the little things in life and oh the little things she teaches me!

Has your child ever acted up in a store? I almost feel like that is rhetorical question, but I know there are some good stories out there, so if you have one, feel free to comment!