The Danger of Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparing ourselves to others and wanting what others have, has been a problem since the beginning of time. Wanting bigger and better, wanting the job our friend has, wanting to be in the same tax bracket as our neighbor…the list goes on.

We ALL have something that we compare ourselves to others with.

Some questions we need to ponder when thinking about comparing ourselves to others:

Is their life really as “good” as we think it is?

Are their goals the same as yours?

Does that person value the same things you do?

Do you end up complaining about what you don’t have, instead of being grateful for what you do?

Why do we live in a culture of comparison?

I think we are trying to find our place in this earthly world and often we do it through comparing ourselves with others. Is it the right way? No. It starts as young kids, when we are trying to find our way through the school culture. We see what other kids are wearing and we wish we had the pair of shoes they were wearing, that we looked as good in those jeans as she did, and so on. Then we move on to the workforce. We wish we drove the same car as our colleague, had the same promotion, the same passions. Really, it is never ending. No matter where we turn, the temptation is always there.

Why comparing yourself to others isn’t worth your time:

1. We are all uniquely created. You may have heard that said 1,000 times, but really. We are. If we are all unique, what makes us think that our striving to live or have the same stuff as another person, is achievable?

2. You have your own goals (at least I hope so). If you are striving to only live up to other’s expectations for you, you are not going to get very far. Your goals in life are going to be different than those around you. In fact, they will probably even look a little different than your spouse’s. Why? Because again, we are all different. Set goals around who you are – not what others expect of you.

3. Comparing ourselves kills thankfulness. We all have so much to be thankful for. Yet we spend more time comparing and complaining, than being thankful for what we already have. I believe that everything we have is a gift – we are called to be stewards of the gifts we have been given. Now, do I always see everything as a gift? No. I still compare and wish to have what others have. It is dangerous and it is something I am continually trying to work on.

4. The latest and greatest really isn’t the latest and greatest. Lets face it: we live in a constantly changing culture. As soon as we buy something to be like somebody else, they are buying something else too. In fact, the store where they purchased this item, has a newer and greater version. You are NEVER going to get caught up. Is it really worth pursuing?

SO….

How do you prevent comparing yourself to others?

1. Write down what you have accomplished. What have you done, where have you been, and what are you in the middle of doing? Don’t focus on what you haven’t done, but take time to ponder what you have.

2. Is it really worth it? The characteristic, the item, the lifestyle – whomever you are comparing yourself to, is it worth the energy? Does that person or item even reflect your personal values? Does it match up with who you really want to be? For example, if you are desiring to be a certain size, does your body type healthily recommend that size? If you are desiring a certain car, would you ever be willing to invest in the price tag of that vehicle? If you are envious of someone else’s job, have you considered what sacrifices they have to make in order to keep that job?

3. Remind yourself that you are not them. You do not know what is truly going on inside of them. You do not know what their home situation is like. Underneath the name brand clothes, the person behind the wheel, the real person at home – you don’t know what is going on. Don’t be quick to judge them and in turn, judge yourself. A simple truth: compare yourself and remind yourself YOU ARE YOU.

4. Who do you really want to be? Who’s standard are you living up to? Pursue characteristics, not material possessions. In pursuit of those characteristics, compare yourself to yourself. By that I mean, challenge yourself to be a better person. You can learn from others, but don’t let them be the standard.

5. Be leery of social media. As wonderful as Facebook can be, it is still a unit of measure that we use to compare ourselves to others with. We do this when we envy what someone did on the weekend, what trip they went on, or how many friends they have on facebook. Why are you looking at someone’s profile? Does it build you up or only remind you of what you don’t have? Even with Pinterest – do you just envy what skills you wish you had and the food you wish you had the talent to make? Relish in what you CAN do.

Comparing yourself to others is not worth it. If you find yourself heading down that road, take captive that very thought. Surround yourself with those who encourage you to b e the best you, not the best “someone else.” If you are always with friends who are trying to out-do each other, where does that leave you? Focus on what is important to you. What you value. What you want to accomplish in life.

Who do you want to be remembered as?

Just some food for thought…

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6 Comments

What a fabulous reminder! Yes, we are all uniquely created by a loving Father who sees us as precious individuals. We need to be wonderstruck by the beauty of our individuality and stop comparing.

Thanks again for sharing. This was absolutely lovely.
xoxo

Great post! Comparison kills Contentment!

Kristin says:

March 20, 2014 at 12:59 pm

Thanks Jill! You put it so simply – I like that saying!

Reply

You are so right Jennifer! We do need to be wonderstruck because in thinking about our individuality, it is amazing to think about how we are all offer something DIFFERENT. Beautiful.

Thank you for this post Kristin. God has been laying on my heart the need to work on this tendancy in my life over the last year or so. In fact, after praying at the first of the year, my focus word for 2014 is "contentment". To help me stay focused on not comparing myself to others I have an insperational area on my desk where (amongst multiple Bible verses) I keep a sign that reads
"Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about" and "Envy is a waste of time, you already have all you need".

Thank you again for this reminder and for coming up with alternative suggestions for times we find ourselves headed in that direction.

Have a great day. Blessings!

Kristin says:

March 20, 2014 at 9:46 pm

Thank you so much Kathy for your comment! This post came out of a desire to also, live with contentment. I absolutely love those quotes, as they sum up really, what I took a whole post to say :). You are exactly right – we do not have a clue what others are going through. I am thankful for others who are on the same journey, all seeking a simplified and contented life for Christ. Thank you again for your encouragement and taking the time to share a bit of your life as well. Blessings to you as well, Kathy!

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