Life Update!

When I see my blog as my personal journal, there are times in my life where I struggle to put into words what my heart is feeling and what my mind is thinking. It’s all in there, but sometimes I’m at a loss on how to express it all verbally. And I can’t blame chemo brain anymore (although I did read somewhere it can last YEARS!)

I went to see the movie, “Soul On Fire” with a friend the other day, and I found myself unable to keep it together as we sat over dinner, catching up on our lives. If you haven’t seen the preview, it’s about a man named John O’Leary, who as a kid, after playing with matches and gasoline, a fire erupted that eventually caused burns over 100% of his body. This true story retells the story of his life, how this life-changing event changed him physically, but also challenged his mental, spiritual, and emotional health. It was an incredibly impactful movie, that challenged every watcher to seek their purpose in the story God has given them.

And as I sat over dinner with my friend, tears began to fall as I continue to try and process all that has happened in the past 8 years of our life. If I’m being raw and honest, I can talk with others about their stories and encourage them to embrace their stories, but I struggle to process my own.

Eight years ago, was my 2nd open heart surgery (first in the string of 2). The surgery that changed the trajectory of my life, still to this day. I became a little emotional when Dan mentioned that to me last week, as I think back to all that has happened since then. But it hasn’t been without purpose, despite the pain. It hasn’t been without divine intervention, despite the disappointments. Even though the past 8 years have looked drastically different than our family would have thought, God’s purposes are so much better than ours!

As for my health, I continue to have HEALTH, which is such a welcomed blessing! The past 8 years have brought many, many challenges, often in the fall (even last year, I was still technically in a somewhat-quarantine), and this year? I recently had good cancer blood tests results (still waiting for the actual cancer test to come back), and heart-wise, my ejection fraction has gone up 8% since this winter! We have made many changes in our little family when it comes to what we eat, how we eat it, what we put on our bodies, and what we have in our home, etc. God is the ultimate healer, though I do feel I am called to do MY best to ensure I take the best care of my body and life that I can, and ensure I help my family do the same.

Even though it’s been an interesting past 8 years, we are grateful for the eternal lessons God has taught us and for ultimately, his faithfulness through the journey.

Anyways, here’s a bit of a glimpse of what’s been going on the past month or so:

We had a beautiful September and were able to enjoy the pool a few more times after we went back to school! We are SO SO grateful to our neighbors who helped us close down our pool on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, in record time! Never in our minds did we think we could get everything picked up, cleaned off, and put downstairs in the time we did. Couldn’t have done it without them!

There is something special that God created between our two homes. Two different families, two different generations, one desire for community and God. This is what life looks like when you live about 15 feet apart:

We had such a memorable weekend “camping” with life-long friends on an incredibly warm weekend in October! We didn’t pull a trailer out, due to too many commitments, but the friendships only flourished and the laughter continuous:

It has been a rough go for this sweet Mazy, after losing Maggie. Mazy has struggled with attachment since 8 years ago, due to the trauma she has experienced with all of my health issues. She has since been diagnosed with an attachment disorder. Her desire for belonging, love, consistency, and acceptance is that much more heightened, and when that is put into question, her sweet little heart battles. And it’s only magnified, as she has no siblings to process or go through this with. Maggie was that person. So losing Maggie, who was like a sibling, the one “constant” amidst the chaos of the trauma of her life, it has been hard to process.

Mazy has said repeatedly, that she cannot go through the grief of losing another “forever” dog, so we have decided to dog sit for people! And oh, what a joy it has been! As you can see, any dog that comes into our home will be WELL loved :).

After Mazy failed her physical eye test, we realized it might be time to get her eyes checked out. She had a 50/50 chance of not needing glasses (Dan does not have them), but she lost the battle. Here’s her new glasses that we hope to pick up next week…

I must say, she looks absolutely ADORABLE in glasses!

This year Mazy was able to play rec soccer with several girls from her class, with Dan and her friend’s dad, being their coach!

Another blessing of having neighbors that truly are like family, you get to know their grandparents too! We were invited to go quading at their grandparent’s house, and oh the memories it brought back of my dad being a farmer! So thankful for friendships like these.

We are official “dog sitters” now, via the Rover app! Through that opportunity, we met Leo, a dog that loved Mazy, just as much as Mazy loved him!

Despite the fact that we are dog sitting often, Mazy has been begging us to get a fish, so we made it to the pet store to find “Maggie Junior” (yes, that is his name), a Betta fish!

We have a little mid-fall break, and we made it out to the Conference Grounds for their Fall Harvest Festival! It may be a little chilly, but it wouldn’t be fall camping if it wasn’t a tad cold with a gentle breeze, and colorful leaves falling! So thankful for this time to get away!

We are just grateful for this season of life. It’s hard to process what life should look like after so many challenges and how to figure out what a new normal should be. Cancer tests still happen, heart appts still consistent, and emotional recovery still present. I just don’t want to “forget” what God has done. More than anything, we just want to stay faithful to God’s truth and God’s Word.

Thank you for journeying with us! Life on this earth isn’t meant to be one of comfort or ease. If anything, our struggles, in such a small way, remind us of what Christ has done for us. The life He walked here on this earth, was nothing but easy. And that’s what I never want to lose sight of. If God is going to get greater glory through struggle, then that’s the road we confidently walk in His grace. And that’s my prayer – that our lives would reflect His glory, His character, His goodness, and His Biblical ways. It’ll bring strife and discomfort, but there is an eternal prize waiting at the end, where it’ll all be worth it!