When people have asked me this week how I am doing, I say good; I say that because I really think I am doing good. I was talking to someone today and I said I had a few rough and tough spots last week, so on days when I feel I’m doing good, I really am. I look back at those hard days and think – whew, glad I don’t have to go through that day again! One thing I have learned to truly be thankful for is each new day. A new day brings new feelings, renewed healing, and renewed hope.
Here’s another devotional from Jesus Calling that is EXACTLY how I feel right now:
Wait with Me for a while. I have much to tell you. You are walking along the path I have chosen for you. It is both a privileged and a perilous way: experiencing My glorious Presence and heralding that reality to others. Sometimes you feel presumptuous to be carrying out such an assignment.
Do not worry about what other people think of you. The work I am doing in you is hidden at first. But eventually blossoms will burst forth, and abundant fruit will be borne. Stay on the path of Life with Me. Trust Me wholeheartedly, letting My Spirit fill you with Joy and Peace.
I was just thinking today how I feel the need to fulfill people’s desires and expectations for me. God has CHOSEN this path for ME, Kristin. I like how they used the word privileged – do I see the path God has taken me on as a privilege? Surely not in the bad days, but I should! And then when it says to not worry about what others think of me b/c it’s hidden. THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL! It brings me almost to tears to read that b/c I can’t explain but only in words what God is doing in our life! He has kept much hidden from us. Why has He taken away the ability to have kids? I don’t know. Why has He taken away the desire to adopt? I don’t know. Why has God taken away the desire to have any kids, yet I still cry immensely over it? I don’t know. I think I cry maybe b/c it’s a very empty feeling – a void in my heart. Just because I say God is taking that desire away, doesn’t mean I’m automatically okay with it – I so am not. It hurts incredibly. Yet God promises that blossoms will BURST forth, meaning that His full plan WILL be revealed and it will look absolutely perfect and beautiful like a flower in a field. I can’t wait to feel like that flower in a field! Right now I feel God is watering and watering the flower with His love for us and I know one day we will be that flower and look back at the ground and realize where we came from. I sometimes feel “in the ground,” but each new day we are one step closer to seeing His full purpose.
How amazing is that? That for EACH person, He has a different plan, a different way that they are going to burst forth? I see people bursting forth through their encouragement…I see people bursting forth in their difficult days. And most of all, Jesus burst forth as He rose from the dead! If my God can raise His own Son from the dead, I know my God will perfectly take us through our path in life. Now I just need to keep working on wholeheartedly trusting Him and letting HIS Spirit fill me with joy and peace.