Live Simply By Saying No
You have heard it said 1,000 times – JUST SAY NO!
Easy for others to say right? They aren’t in the situation you are in. They aren’t living the life you live. They aren’t the ones who have to live with the reprecautions.
Saying no is something I struggle with; I am a people-pleaser. Always have been. It was when I realized I was saying yes to things that I could’ve really cared less about, that I knew that I needed to start saying no.
Why is saying “no” so powerful? Because it helps you answer that question of how to live a simple life. Living a simple life is about choosing to do the things that compliment your values, principles, and goals. Saying yes only compromises and confuses what those values, principles, and goals may be. Simplifying what you REALLY want to be doing in life, in the end, leads to simplicity and a life you WANT to live
What you may not realize is that the word NO:
1. Prevents overcommitment. Seems simple, but how many things do you say “yes” to, but really would rather not do? How many things do you commit to, but realize that it actually counteracts with what you want to be doing in life? How many things do you say yes to because you feel obligated? Saying no frees up your schedule, frees you up to do the things YOU want to be doing, and allows you to be the person YOU want to be. Don’t overcommit. When you overcommit, you, your family, and those around you suffer because they are the ones who have to deal with a stressful you.
2. Squashes negative influences. Take a minute to think about the things in your life that are NOT positive. Whether it be a situation, surroundings, a person, or whatever. What gives you negative thoughts or feelings? By saying no to those situations, will some of the negative influences go away? Maybe not right away, but eventually. Don’t let the negative things in your life control you.
3. Diminishes selfishness. Lets be honest. How many of us say “yes” to something because we think we would do a good job at it? Because we feel we would be the only one who could do it? And do it RIGHT? Okay, there is a point where using our gifts and talents to the best of our abilities is important. But saying yes to something because we think WE’D be the best person, isn’t the right way of looking at it. In fact, if that is the reason why you are saying yes, then you need to choose to say NO right away. Maybe saying “no” seems selfish because you are choosing to do something that is good for you. But really, saying no can be unselfish because you know you aren’t the only person.
Do not let any of those things tie you up into being the person you do not want to be. Live a simple life by saying no. Say yes to the things that only match up with your values, principles, and goals. Saying no takes practice and it takes time. But hang in there – you won’t regret it!
Wonderful advice! I think I inherited my mother's "obligated guilt" gene, and it has taken me 48 years to figure this out. I find that when I say yes and spread myself too thin out of a sense of obligation, I end up stressed out and resentful of the person who asked for my help (certainly NOT healthy for relationships), but when I say yes because the job is in keeping with my core values and priorities, I end up feeling fulfilled, even if I've had to make some sacrifices with my time and energy. It's all about using your gifts and talents to make the world a more meaningful place according to your own definition rather than someone else's.
Valerie, you couldn't be more right, about being resentful towards the person who asked for the help. IT is so easy to create this barrier, that isn't supposed to be there, but because of my own inability to say no, it's there. That feeling of fulfilled is amazing and worth every bit of energy. We all have choices to make and it's whether or not we decide to truly make them, that we will see amazing results. Thanks for sharing Valerie!