More Than Just A Mother

More than just a mother.

My dream has come true. I became a mother to two perfect children in heaven in 2012, and then became an earthly mother to Mazy Grace last year. Just today, I picked up my daughter from her crib after a nap and she saw a little banner that my friend had made for her that says “You Are Loved.” I saw Mazy smiling and pointing at it so I read those 3 simple words to her and she looked at me with the biggest smile on her face. My eyes welled up. There I stood, holding the result of years of prayers (and the result of many other’s prayers as well). A daughter who everyday, we hug so much she pushes us away as if to say “let me go, would ya?” You see, those hugs we had been waiting years to give.

I truly could not imagine my life any different.

But between the diaper changes, feedings, and even those hugs, there is someone else in there too. It doesn’t take away the fact that I am a mother, but I am also a wife. I am also a daughter of the King. Not that those are duties, but those are gifts to me, that I need to make sure I nurture as well.

And you do too.

It is easy to let all of my love go to my daughter (b/c let’s be honest, she is pretty easy to love), but I also have a husband who deserves my love too. Who I committed 10 years ago, to walk life with. It is easy to get into roommate-mode and parent-mode and forget about the relationship we need to nurture too. That is why we have committed to continuing our Skip-Bo tournament! That is why we have committed to go on a 10 year anniversary trip. Because we need each other too. In order to parent well, we need to make sure we are well. And don’t worry, we are well, but we need to make sure we keep it that way. God has given us each other and that is something we don’t want to take for granted. I could do a whole lot better at this. Dan once said “I just want ‘Kristin'” and by that he meant ME – not the “mother” me, but KRISTIN. I need to make sure I am myself too – the person Dan married.

There is also this other aspect of me that is even more important. Even more important than me being a mom. And it’s the fact that I am a daughter of the King. A daughter who is called to put Christ first in her life. So what does that mean to me? That means I have the opportunity to live out my faith, my beliefs, my convictions, and my love for my Savior, everyday. Between the diaper changes, feedings, and even those hugs, it’s hard to know what that looks like. I know that I want to mother Mazy the best way I can and that is through showing her how much her Father loves her. But I know God has called me to more.

That is where I have struggled.

Parenting is always an adjustment for all parties. It is hard to find your niche after your schedule changes a bit, but one thing I know God is always putting on my heart, is to testify what He is doing in our life. Between the gazillion pictures of Mazy I share on this blog, I want to testify about the grace God has shown us. The grace He gives me in parenting and in life. That is why I love blogging. I can be a very wordy person (trying to self-evaluate here), and I am sure many of my posts make no sense, but only to me. Regardless, I feel it is an avenue God has given me to share of His love, grace, and workings in our life.

And that is why I want to share about one more thing that I have been working on. Something that I have felt prompted to do for a few years now, but feel “this” is the year.

I used to have a bucket list on the side of this blog. One of the things I have always wanted to do was write a book.

That is coming to fruition.

After having Mazy, I realized that she is part of the story that we are to share. She has made me a mother, but has also taught me that I am more than just a mother. Thank you Lord, for teaching me that! I am not sure I would have gotten that message any other way!

So, between the diaper changes, feedings, and even those hugs, I have been trying to put our life onto pages in a book. I am thankful God gave me the prompting to start a blog years and years ago (which makes writing a book much easier for a person who doesn’t have a good memory). It is a bit harder to make it all flow into one single book, but that is what I am in the process of doing. I realize that this is a huge undertaking and I am not doing it for us. I am not doing it to make money. I am doing it purely because I know that is something God has put on my heart to do. I know nothing about writing a book, but I know that if this is what God is leading me to do, He will give me the tools I need to accomplish the calling.

The sole purpose of the book is to share about the very Savior who saved us. To share about the journey that He has given. To share about HIS love and grace in our life. To make HIS name known.

Those hugs from Mazy, will never get old (Dan just said that yesterday too). They never will. But I know that even though I couldn’t ask for a better role right now in being a mom, I know God has created me to more than just a mom. And right now, that means writing a book too. I do not have a timeline, but I know it will come to fruition when it needs to.

So how is that “more” defined for you? What does that look like for you? What do you feel God prompting YOU to do, but are maybe hesitant to dive into?

Now I am going to step away and get more of those hugs…