Your Kids Will Be Just Fine
Can I just tell you something? Your kids are going to be JUST fine. No really, they are.
Over the past few days on social media, I have sensed, due to comments made on posts, that mamas are carrying a lot of guilt. Guilt over what they aren’t doing. Guilt over what they can’t do. Guilt that they aren’t enough or aren’t doing enough. Guilt over the fact that they don’t think they are being a good enough parent.
I’ve seen an amazing showcase of creativity on how parents are dealing with their kiddos being home. And honestly? I admire you all! God has given so many unique gifts to his children and wowzas, I am inspired. But I also recognize this feeling that starts to fuel inside of me – that maybe I’m not doing enough and is Mazy really going to be okay?
Let me insert this. Our daughter is only in preschool and we only have one child. So you can say oh, she doesn’t understand. You are exactly right. I won’t fully understand what those with multiple kids have to deal with. But what I can proclaim, is truth. And no matter how many kids we all have, TRUTH is always TRUTH. It doesn’t change and it’s what we all need to hear.
Your kids are going to be okay.
Seriously, people. Can we just put it in perspective a second? So at this point, at least in Michigan, kids will be missing 4 weeks of school total, which includes spring break. And it could definitely be longer. But let’s look at life for a hot second. When your kids are 18, 25, 50, and 75, is their education going to be that far behind due to a few weeks or months missed? No. Just reread that for a another hot second. What are they going to remember? Being home. Being together. They will not for one minute, remember what they were learning. Do you remember on certain weeks in certain grades, what you were studying? I mean my memory is terrible, but I doubt it. You may remember blips here and there, but let’s be real.
They are going to be okay. Your kids are still going to thrive. Your kids can learn just as much by going on a walk as they can doing a worksheet. My kid will learn far more from watching an educational show than what I could teach them in a half hour. Just being real here. Your kids can learn just as much, if not more, doing free-play, than having a structured day. Now some of us need the organization. Children do thrive off structure. But my friends, there is RECESS. Snacks. Breaks. Time to just be. Giggle. They are kids and they are going to be okay. I’m often told kids are resilient and really, they are. Will some struggle? Absolutely. Has Mazy cried umpteen times already? Yup! But this is a moment in time. A millisecond of life and it’s not going to ruin them. In fact, God uses all things for his good purposes, even when the circumstances don’t seem right. Even this, will be used for good. But it doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. They will be fine.
Do what you do and do it well.
There is this battle going on with all of us being “homeschool moms” now. That is not what this is about. This is about being who we are. Being the parents God has called us to be. Some parents work. Some don’t. Some homeschool. Some don’t. I firmly believe that God is not black and white in what’s right and what’s wrong. Now I know we can make cases for both, biblically speaking. I mean Jesus was in the temple for how many years, away from his parents, learning what ministry looked like and getting educated. But it also talks about training up a child in the way he should go. Is it a contradiction? The Bible isn’t such. You may disagree, but God again has gifted us all differently and how you choose to raise your child, is between you and God. Not me and you. No judgement here. So do what you do, and do it well. Your kids will be just fine.
Creativity starts with you. Not social media.
It starts with you. You know your limits. You know what’s feasible. You know what you, your kids, your house, your budget, and your sanity can take. God has created us with creative minds. We are made in his image and just by looking out the window, it’s clear God has a very creative mind, that he has given to us as well. So don’t try to have the mind of another. The creativity of another. Has God given us each other to be encouraged and inspired? Absolutely. But we can’t forget who we are. A child of GOD. Not a by-product of the ideas on the internet and of each other.
If being creative means slinging fruit loops onto a piece of string, great. If being creative means setting up a whole Pinterest-worthy table, you run with it, girl! This is a chance to use our minds and be creative. But we have to stop looking around. We have to stop succumbing to the pressures to be who we aren’t. To not feel guilty.
There is no peace in comparison. There is no contentment in wishing we could be like someone else. There is no freedom to be who we are, if we are constantly looking at everyone else. Remember, your kids will be just fine.
Just make the most of it.
One of my mottos in life is, “It is what it is.” How many times hasn’t life gone the way you had planned? I’m pretty certain we could all say at least once, if not thousands. We are all in the same boat, folks. With the same restrictions. With the same precautions. So can we stop thinking about what we can’t do, and just make the most of it?
What that looks like for your family will look different than what it looks like for ours. But we make the most of it by allowing this to change us for the good. To allow it to draw us closer to Him. The Sovereign One over it all. Is this how life is supposed to be? No. But God doesn’t ask us to wallow, but to willfully trench through the mucky waters. It stinks, I know – mud never smelled tasty. But it often leads to dryer grounds and greener pastures on the other side. Until we get there, just make the most of it. And your kids will be just fine.
Live by grace.
One of the biggest truths we need to live by is that of GRACE. I’ve frequented the hospital often, due to my health. Each time, I shed a tear because I think of what I’m leaving behind. My family. My child. But I know I have to be there and it’s only by grace we get through it all. By all means, has it been easy? Absolutely not. But when I start the guilty, wish I couldve’s, and I can’ts, it gets me no where. There is this panic out there, how am I going to do it all? You know what? You can’t and you won’t.
My friends, God is not in heaven giving out tallys. God isn’t judging our every minute in the sense that when he sees someone doing something creative, he doesn’t say “oh, they get an extra tally today on the board.” God for once never thinks, oh, they are a “better” mom. But isn’t that often how we see life? That it’s about this expectation – this bar we have to meet? God is not that type of God. That’s what separates Christianity from ALL other religions. It’s not works-based, but grace-based. So why do we so often live like the other? Stop the tallys. It’s about relationship, not works. Maybe all your kids need is just to know you’re there. Not what you can do for them. Maybe what you need is to know that it’s by GRACE we are saved and can call heaven our home, not by what we do. Give yourself the same grace that God gives us. Everyday.
Because your kids will be just fine.