This is a lesson that has taken and is still taking me, far too long to learn: appreciating the moment.
Busy days can get the best of us. Looking at the calendar, our schedules fill up. Demands from every corner fill our minds with what we AREN’T accomplishing, maybe even creating a feeling of guilt of how inadequate we are because we can’t fulfill them all. Moments in life are just that – moments. Little points in time that pass by all too quickly.
There have been many moments in my life, that I would love to relive in a way. Two of them being our wedding and honeymoon. In those moments, I felt the world just stopped and all that mattered was that Dan and I were getting married and were going to spend forever together. Call it a sappy love, but I remember thinking about nothing else, but the fact that Dan was going to be my husband. I look back at that time in my life with such joy, peace, and excitement. Time taken as we appreciated the moment.
Little did we know that those moments would spur us on through some of the most difficult of days. Days when the last thing we wanted to do was appreciate the moment – the moments when we had to say goodbye to our babies. Moments when we left the doctor’s office discouraged that I could not have a child. Moments that I, back then, far from appreciated. I remember blogging about them, blogging about the deep hurt and frustration I felt. I wouldn’t necessarily call that appreciating the moment, but maybe living in the moment, since that was our reality.
Appreciating reality is so much easier said than done. As Dan and I have been reflecting on the journey God has taken us on to parenthood, we find ourselves appreciating those harsh realities. Those moments where we were so heartbroken and so torn apart, where we had nowhere to turn, but to God. It is in looking back, that we realize God had a perfect purpose in each and every one of those hardships. We humbly admit that we would not appreciate this moment, of preparing for our baby girl, if it wasn’t for the losses we experienced. If it wasn’t for not being able to have a child for so long. If it wasn’t for the day we said “I do” and from then on, committing to put Christ first in our marriage, despite what life would bring.
We did not realize that appreciating those moments, would be so valuable today. It has been in looking back, that we have realized how gracious and faithful God has been. I know, easy for me to say as I sit here almost 33 weeks pregnant. That is why I tread this water with hesitancy. Yet we also know that those 8, almost 9 years before, those years of struggle and loss, have made this journey that much sweeter. God always has a good plan – a plan that begs us to appreciate each and every moment because we do not know what lies ahead. We love our baby girl so much already because God taught us what it means to love before – with our first 2; and especially since He first loved US. We know how God has to orchestrate everything just so, so that any parent can be a parent – a true miracle. We know that God has a good and intended purpose for everything He allows – a purpose FAR greater than we could ever imagine.
That is why we are trying to appreciate every moment we have with our baby girl – even if she’s still in the womb. We know how precious life is and at any moment, God could take her back to be with Him. That is why we want to cherish her every move. God’s gift each day of having her with us. God’s gift of being able to walk this journey with my husband who has loved and cherished me, always.
What in your life is hard to appreciate? What moments would you rather not remember? In what ways has God maybe used those difficult times to exalt Himself, while growing you in the process?
Appreciate every moment. I sometimes wish I would’ve had more faith and trust in God during those trying times. I am not saying you can’t cry (don’t worry, I still do over the pain we experienced), but I think it is easy to lose track of the path God may have on us. Don’t lose faith and trust. Let those tears fall and allow God to wipe them away!