More than I’d like to. I’ve laid awake at night, wondering how we are going to pay the next medical bill. How my heart situation is going to turn out. If I’m doing a good enough job raising Mazy. If I’m doing everything I can to bring glory to God. If I’m living my life with enough faith. I fear that sometimes “it’s” just not enough.
I recently read an article about the whole college admission scandal with Lori Laughlin. I totally grew up watching Full House with Aunt Becky and LOVED that show. Can I just say TGIF? Best line-up of shows to have ever existed. Hands down. Of course the only info I get about that whole ordeal with the Laughlin family is what is printed in magazines, but after reading a recent article, the word that kept coming to mind was fear. There was FEAR that her daughters wouldn’t be “accepted” by this world. There was FEAR that they were going to miss out or fall behind in life. There was FEAR that they weren’t going to be living the “best” life if they did not attend a certain college.
And I found myself relating to this story all too much. No, I haven’t committed a crime in seeking out acceptance, but I have feared – the same fear that they felt – that maybe it just wasn’t enough. So they took the next step. And took matters into their own hands.
And sadly enough, I could have an article written on my life too, of the numerous times I feared, worried, lost trust, and thought that I had to take matters into my own hands.
But the more I wonder how everything is going to work out, and the more I try to put my trust in God, the more He proves to me that HE IS ENOUGH. HE WILL PROVIDE.
When we live life thinking about what we don’t have, it’s an empty feeling. It’s unsettling. But when we give God what we DO have, He blesses us time and time again and gives us more than we deserve.
When we want what others have and realize we can’t be happy without it, we fear and become someone we don’t want to be. Jesus didn’t come to live a life of comparison to others here on this earth. He only came to do God’s will. And that was ENOUGH.
THAT’S what I want my life to reflect. Not a life that is constantly trying to measure up to other’s lives for fear that I’m “not enough,” but to live a life that is devoted to doing God’s will, no matter what it takes. God won’t help me be someone I’m not supposed to be. But He WILL help me be who He designed me to be. Who He designed me to be is ENOUGH for Him and it should be for me too.