Reading Through The Bible

One of my New Years resolutions – read through the Bible in a year. Last week the pastor was talking about resolutions and he said really they are about change and “forgiving” the past. Repenting of what we didn’t do last year. Well, I have to say I’ve tried to read through the Bible a couple of times now, and have failed each time. Really it is embarassing to say that, but nevertheless, true.

So, I started the quest again. I feel I am way more motivated than I ever have been! I know it takes discipline, but I am ready for it. I am ready to be challenged. I am ready to be challenged by God’s Word. Today I was reading in Genesis 19 (I think) about Lot’s daughters. Wow. There are some very interesting stories in the Bible – stories I didn’t hear about as a kid – or I just blocked them out of my memory. Today I read that Lot’s daughters wanted to continue the line and wanted to have kids. So, what do they do? BOTH get their dad, Lot, drunk on wine, and have sex with him – and both get pregnant. Huh. I believe nowadays there would be something said about that. I find the whole concept of what they did rather disgusting. Nevertheless, it’s an actual story in the Bible.

The chapter before I read about Sarah and Abraham. To think that Sarah LAUGHED at God and then denied it when she found out she was going to have a child, I can’t help but put myself in her shoes. I sometimes wonder what God is going to do – Sarah thought the same. I put my God in a box – Sarah did too. I think – why did God choose us to go through this – Sarah thought the same. I’ve always loved the story of Abraham and Sarah – not just the fact that she eventually got pregnant, but that God used her. God did not give up on her, even though she laughed in His face. God tested her faith and that is what He is doing with us.

Tonight we went to some high school basketball games and it’s STILL hard to look out on the court and think we may not have a “kid” out there someday. Hard, not because we may not have our own, but hard because I just wonder what God has in store. It used to be hard to watch sports and think we’ll never see one of our OWN kids play. BUT…now it’s just wondering what next? I suppose the positive side is that we are moving on, but we still just go “huh?” What now God?

Until then, we will continue to support the kids we have in our life today and until He gives us another direction, we will continue to do so.