We Never Know What Tomorrow May Hold

What a journey it has been.

I have a hard time wrapping my mind around all that has happened in our lives the past few months. The ups and downs have us holding on tight, wondering what the next turn will bring. In June, we found out my “cancer” numbers showed up again. This was shocking and was to my oncologists as well. Over the past few months, we have continued to see those numbers rise, waiting for the day when I’ll be told I need to go through treatment again. But amidst all of the testing and most of all, the waiting, we’ve been dealing with my heart failure as well.

We met with the bone marrow transplant team at Michigan and knew it wouldn’t be feasible for me to have a BMT there. We asked to be referred to Grand Rapids, and they kindly did so. But then we knew from my last ECHO (ultrasound of the heart), that I wouldn’t qualify at either facility. An ECHO was ordered, and so we waited.

In the meantime, we learned that behind the scenes, plans were being made about what to do with my leukemia and my advanced heart failure. I received a call from my cardiac nurse and she informed me that all of my Michigan teams were in discussion about what to do. They had decided to present some more advanced therapies. I had no idea what that meant, but quickly learned that they were discussing the feasibility of me having a heart AND bone marrow transplant, AT THE SAME TIME. And that it would most likely have to be done at Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, or in Boston, Massachusetts. I received that phone call while in Family Fare with Mazy, and so it came as such a shock. We came home and Mazy immediately ran up to Dan and told him we were moving to one of those states. She wasn’t far off in her thinking! It would be intense and life-changing.

The next day, I was able to have my ECHO performed in Grand Rapids, STAT (aka ASAP). Within hours, I received the results on my portal. My ejection fraction, the number that was holding me back from having a bone marrow transplant, was 47!

To put that in perspective, my last ECHO showed it was 29% with my left ventricle at the severe stage. In order to have a BMT, my EF would need to be between 40-45%. Well, that day, we called on whomever we could think of at the moment, to just PRAY. Pray that God would perform a miracle. In fact, even our school’s staff had a time of prayer at the time my ECHO was.

And hours later, we learned that my EF had increased 20% in a year’s time, WHILE having leukemia, which can often CAUSE heart failure. AND my left ventricle was only mildly having issues.

If you ask me, or anyone who has known my heart struggles, this is nothing short of a MIRACLE. IT IS ALL GOD. Yes, I’ve had some medications changed, but to go up almost 20% in a YEAR? When I’ve been suffering from advanced heart failure for 6 years, and the day before, being told I need to have a heart transplant? HOW CAN WE NOT BELIEVE IN A SOVEREIGN GOD? ALL HIM, FOLKS.

So what now? Needless to say, I think the idea of a double transplant is on the back burner and hopefully even taken off the burner. I am scheduled to meet with the bone marrow transplant team in Grand Rapids on Thursday, in hopes of getting some answers about what’s next. BUT. This is also assuming my leukemia is back. I have not been given the official “YES” on this yet.

And that’s where we are asking for prayers once again. It has been hard to fully bask in the miraculous work of God because I don’t think we’ve had time to fully let it sink in. We still have a large battle in front of us. I know you may be getting weary, but GOD CAN and HE IS ABLE. He has shown us in such a powerful way, His grace and healing hand. And we just PRAY I don’t need a bone marrow transplant. It’s intense. Thankfully I think I can have it done locally, but having gone through leukemia once, I know what it takes and it’s not easy.

Also, amidst finding out about the results of the ECHO, we learned that my heart is having extra beats again. Therefore, I need to go to U of M on Monday to get a 12-lead holter monitor, to figure out what to do next. If it’s not one thing, it’s another! I told my doctor too, I don’t think the stress has helped. I’ve tried to do my best to not stress, but if I’m honest, this has been a LOT. I have spent so much time on the phone, messaging my doctors via the portal multiple times a day, and trying to figure out my schedule, that it can make my head spin, but God has given me grace for each moment! And again, we want to remember what He has already done and use that to spur us on for what’s coming up next, whatever it may be.

I’m not currently in treatment. I’ve made it to October. Wednesday marks the day I came home a year ago, from my initial leukemia treatments. I had 4 more week-long rounds after that, but still. Here I am. Alive, working, loving what I do, and able to live life. Yep, I get tired and I am weary. But God, in His grace, gave us undeserved circumstantial hope this past week with finding out about the improvement of my heart function. We deserve none of that. But here we are!

I would love to have some answers about what’s next, with my heart or cancer. As my oncologist at U of M said, “Holy moly your ECHO looks GREAT! To be very honest, I don’t know what to do with this information!” It was a shock to us all. But it gave me an opportunity to tell her about the goodness of God. We are incredibly grateful for our teams at U of M and now Grand Rapids, who are working so hard to ensure I can continue to fight both diseases. And we just continue to pray God keeps my leukemia at bay. Can you imagine?

I have struggled with how to put into words what has all happened, as things seem to be changing so quickly. Sometimes hourly. I’m trying to just focus on each day and what I need to get done and/or focus on for that day. God has my tomorrow’s figured out, and it’s looking like it won’t be in a different state for a double transplant. What a miracle!

We just praise our God, the Almighty One, who holds our tomorrows, who is HEALING, and we just pray He continues to bring healing in ways that blow us all away. We believe He can. And we believe He also has a good and perfect plan for us, whatever it may entail. Here we go!