A Deeper Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day – a weekend to always remember.

This day always has many different emotions tied into it for me, for various reasons. I am sure it does for many of you too. Life experiences and circumstances cause this day to be one filled with tears of joy and tears of sorrow. Memories of old, but also dreaming of the future and what could be. This day always brings deeper emotions for me and I usually can’t sit through a church service without tearing up, just a little. All because of the grace God has poured out on my life. Here are just a few of those emotions:

Deep sorrow. My heart aches so deeply for those who have lost a “mom” figure in their life or have lost a child, born or unborn. I still miss our two little babies in heaven, everyday. One day, Mazy asked to hold the picture of the two owls on our piano and I could not get the words out, to explain who they were. As she just stared at them, I could only hope that God filled her heart with peace knowing that she has siblings in Heaven, when I could not. As I put the frame back on the piano, I was putting a piece of my heart back up on the ledge, but I looked down and saw my desires fulfilled through Mazy Grace. I do not know the depth of loss that so many people have felt. The depth of losing someone so close, that life without them, seems impossible to live. Yet in those moments, my heart aches for them to feel the fulfillment of love that only God can give. For them to feel the purposes of God behind the loss. God’s ways sure are not ours at times, but boy, His ways sure are perfect. Even through deep sorrow.

Deep gratitude. I will never forget the day we were told by my heart doctor “I see no problem with it” (with regards to me being able to carry a child). And the day Mazy Grace came into our world, oh what an unexplainable joy filled our hearts. I truly can’t believe she is in our life. I look at her and just giggle inside at times, standing in awe of the grace and mercy God has shown us. I still can’t believe that I am a mom. There are mornings when Mazy sleeps in and I am counting down the minutes til she wakes up because I just want to be her mom, in the sense of kissing and just holding her. I can’t wait to live out that calling every single day. And that God would choose ME, to be Mazy Grace’s mom. Oh it just makes me cry.

Deep relief. My heart appointments often land right around Mother’s Day. Each appointment always brings it’s own surprises it seems, and this Mother’s Day, after surprising results that my valve is leaking pretty heavily again, I am just thankful to live a relatively normal life. To think that God knew, long before we did, that this was the case, brings me such relief. The peace we have after this news is overwhelming, though we are sad too. But the relief we have knowing our lives are NOT in our hands, but in God’s, reminds me that I can only do what God guides us to do, and leave the rest to Him. What a relief!

Deep love. Oh how deep the Father’s love for us. Think about your life situation. Whether it be filled with deep sorrow, deep gratitude, or deep relief, the fact that God’s love abounds, nothing can thwart that. Dan and I’s anniversary also falls right around Mother’s Day. Dan’s love for me, nowhere compares to the love God has for me, but it is a glimpse. And I could not be more thankful for the deep love Dan and I have for each other, which makes Mother’s Day, all the more special. Then I think about Christ’s love, His sacrifice on the cross, and I can’t help but want to make my life a sacrifice to Him, in everything I do.

So on this Mother’s Day, this post is not only for those who are biological mothers. It’s for those who are spiritual nurturers, caretakers, and really for anyone who loves and cares for another being. That is our calling as “mothers” and may we all see ways that God has blessed us and given us opportunities to do so! No matter what our circumstances are.

The pictures above, is a 4-generation picture. What a blessing it is to have these women in my life, along with MANY others – and you know who you are. If you are wondering if you are one of them, YOU ARE.

What about Mother’s Day, is special to YOU? We all have different experiences and I would enjoy hearing what makes Mother’s Day unique to YOU?