A Beautiful Life

Candidness.

That is one thing that I value in life: being open and honest about who we are, who I am, and what is going on in our life. Some of these topics you may be able to relate, while others, maybe not so much. But one thing I want to continue to do is to share our story. Even the ups and downs. We all have them and we all have different experiences. Yet some of the experiences may be very similar. So feel free to laugh or maybe even think that we are crazy, but this is who we are!

I truly would not trade our life. It has been and continues to be a beautiful life. It has not always been easy, but as Dan often says, we don’t regret the journey. God has had very specific purposes in the trials and joys He has taken us through. Some of those purposes we may not fully understand this side of heaven, but we know they are all for the good and that God continues to work for the good. That is a beautiful life as Christian.

In moving to Minnesota, never in our wildest dreams did we think we would have a biological child. Call me “ye of little faith,” but we just never thought it possible. So now to be sitting here with Mazy literally laying in my arms cashed out, I stare into her closed eyes and feel so at peace. A peace that doesn’t mean that the journey is easy, but a peace that is comforting knowing that THIS is what God had planned all along.

It brings tears to my eyes to consider the gift that she is. To ponder the miracle. To cherish every moment with her. Yes, I still tear up when I look into her eyes and tell her how much I love her. God has wowed us continually with the blessings of little Mazy. A beautiful life, this is.

Having Mazy away from family has been hard. But it has been so good for us too. It has challenged me to accept love and help from others. I struggle with asking for help (just ask my husband). I sometimes saw asking for help as me failing to be able to do something, but how arrogant is that? Really! To be too selfish to try and live this life on my own is ridiculous. Having Mazy has taught me to accept the gift of help. And how freeing that is! THAT is a beautiful life!

Having a baby has challenged our marriage. It would be naive to think that parenthood wouldn’t change anything about the relationship with your spouse! I will fully admit that I did not think that it would be as big of a challenge as it has! My crazy hormones, lack of sleep, but also just the adjustment to a new pace of life, has honestly caused quite a few “discussions” between Dan and I. To be honest, I was always bringing up something. Something that was bothering me. Granted I think I had a bit more time to think about it being at home, but it seemed like this big change really effected our relationship. What it came down to was the need to communicate. Is that not the majority of issues in a marriage? I would fail to communicate where I needed help, so I tried to just do it all on my own. Big mistake! We would fail to talk about our schedule for the week or even day, and surprises caught me off guard. We failed to communicate about the changes. It wouldn’t have mattered what “change” happened in our life, it was the fact that we just were not communicating the way we should and could have. But have no fear, we are doing GREAT and we have had some absolutely wonderful discussions since and are on the same page.

Really, the same thing happened when we got married. When we moved. Those huge life-changing events, that screamed the need for communication. I’ll be honest in saying that after almost 9 years of just Dan and I, I feel we had each other pretty well figured out. But circumstances can really throw ya for a loop and this was a needed change. Mazy’s life has blessed us more than she will ever know! God has used her little life to strengthen our marriage and our love for each other. It is easy to become complacent and comfortable in a marriage. What a gift Mazy has been! Not saying you need to have a child in order to build a stronger marriage, but for the Sterks, it has been a welcomed change. All part of this beautiful life.

I hope that through the joys and challenges in your own life, that you can see it as a BEAUTIFUL life! The other day I sat down and did my devotions. I remember reading about our all-knowing, all-powerful, and always-present God. As I sat and thought about Who this God we serve is, I just felt at peace yet again. This life that God has given us is so perfect. Not perfect because it has been a breeze, but perfect because God has reminded us time and time again of His faithfulness. All of the loss, heartache, and grief has been well worth it. God’s promises hold true and Mazy is just a small representation of that. Though God is not done. God is never done. And how thrilling is that? THAT is beautiful life.

Basking in the faithful workings of our Sovereign Lord!