A Celebration of Time

God cares about time.

As much as God is and works out of the boundaries of time, as humans, we have the privilege of seeing God work in time, in our limited view.

On September 17, 12 years ago, God called our two little babies/embryos home to be with him. They were just 3 weeks old in the womb, but we believe they were still babies and lives to embrace. The thing is, I wasn’t carrying them – our dear friend Brenda was. I’ll never forget the message Brenda left on our answering machine when I got home from work that night, to call her. It didn’t sound like the normal Brenda voice. When she answered, I knew something was wrong and it became clear that God allowed a miscarriage of both of them. The next day’s ultrasound, which would be the first time we’d see them physically, proved that they were no longer in the womb, but in the arms of God.

And when we thought the timing of this was so wrong and that God had it all wrong, it was exactly 2 1/2 years later that Mazy Grace was born on March 17, 2015.

Most probably don’t pay much attention to their 1/2 birthday. If you’d ask me when mine was, I couldn’t tell ya because I can’t do calendar math that quickly. But when it comes to our children, this day matters and it matters to God. This is not coincidence, but God’s kindness, gentleness, and faithfulness.

When it was Mazy’s birthday this past March, I was still isolated from the real world due to my bone marrow transplant, so we couldn’t celebrate how we wanted. So for her 1/2 birthday, we allowed her to pick a place to eat, in celebration of not only her, but her siblings in heaven too. Mazy didn’t want to eat at a restaurant, but wanted to eat at home, which ended up being just right. We sat and talked about how old her siblings would be, what they would be like, and how our family would look different if they were here. But in the end, we kept coming back to God’s perfect timing.

Maybe God’s timing has been confusing, hurtful, and painful. Maybe God’s timing has been joyous, unexpected, and a miracle. I think God’s timing can be both. Not an either/or, but a both/and. God knew what he was doing when he took our babies home, but also knew what he was going to do 2 1/2 years later. And knew that I, myself, would carry Mazy. We sit in awe of the miracle that this all was and is, and in awe of the gift Brenda gave us. God’s timing doesn’t always make sense, but it sure is perfect. Every time.