A Different Perspective
We have visitors :)!
Dan’s brother Tom, his wife Kari and there 2 kids made the trek from Michigan to Minnesota yesterday! It is always nice having a piece of family out here! Thankfully the snow is gone (much different weather than when my parents were out here!) and we can enjoy the sights of spring! Today we are going to venture out to the cities and go to the Mall of America! Is it odd that we have been here for 2 months (almost to the day) and we haven’t been there yet? Well, there is a first for everything, so we are looking very forward to it.
I was reminded by a wonderful person that it is okay that we are not ready to adopt yet. I think she hit it on the dot – it is such an emotional experience and that is so where we are at. It is purely just too emotional for us. Again, I am not saying never. This is just where we are at. God is introducing so much change in our lives and we have been through so much emotionally, that the thought of adding another emotional experience is not appealing at all. Adoption hits the deepest parts of the being I think (as we had thought about it a few years ago). And yes, it says in the Bible to look after orphans and widows, in their distress. It is hard when people label those who can’t have their own, to those who should just adopt, as it seems like the easy fix. That this verse speaks only to those who can’t have their own. I struggle with that because that is a verse spoken to all. I read that and honestly I am convicted. Then I wonder if I had my own living children, would I read that verse and feel that same conviction? I honestly hope I would! That is where my struggle is. But at the same time, just because adoption is such a GOOD thing, may not mean it is what we should do RIGHT NOW.
In thinking about Mother’s Day, I was also reminded by this person that we still have something to celebrate! How beautiful to think that I AM A MOTHER. That Dan IS A FATHER. It is so easy to fixate our thoughts on what we don’t have, rather than thinking about what we did have. Though our babies are not here with us, God has blessed us with the opportunity to be parents and that is what we so desired. What a gift that is. God truly does give us the desires of our hearts. In trying to keep my head up with Mother’s Day approaching, it is in how we look at the situation, that makes the difference. I do have something to celebrate – though the pain and loss will always be there, so will the joy and celebration of our two babies. We didn’t have the opportunity last year at this time – we were only anticipating being parents. Now we are. We celebrate as a family of 4 – we are just separated for the time being. It’s only temporary as our true citizenship is in heaven. God has made it so evident that He has a grander purpose for us here on earth and we are ready for it – whatever it may be. How safe it is, to be in His arms!
God is continually blessing us in so many ways. God is just wowing us left and right in life. To God be the glory!
adoption is a difficult subject to approach; for some its amazing and they want that 100% for others they have to take their time getting used to the idea. We actually considered adoption vs having our own due to my genetic disorder (i.e. kids may inherit it). However, for us, personally, its difficult to give up the idea of having our own biological children. Its difficult to get over the idea that sits in the back of your mind, "will they be ours?" "what if they look 100% different from us" "what if they act 100% different from us." I agree that adoption is a great/good thing, however, if anyone is considering it they have to be convinced in themselves that its the path God would have for them. We have never tried for children ourselves and just aren't 100% sure which path would be better. I pray that God would guide you two in your decisions surrounding this area of life. (Side note: I do not think there is anything morally wrong about having a gestational carrier. Even in biblical times they did this only they didn’t have all the fancy technology or methods we use and have today).
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Jenny! So well put! I think you pose the questions that so many wonder about when adopting. It is a very difficult decision and like you said, they need to be convinced by God, that it is right. What a blessing it is have Him as our guide in life, isn't it? Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and heart!