Around the Home + Heart Journey Update

This past week hasn’t always been an easy one, but we also know that all of our circumstances are leading us to something greater. God has a purpose in all that he allows and even though it isn’t always comfortable, fun, easy, etc., we know that He is still at work.

On Monday, I received a call from Michigan stating that the week prior, my ICD showed that my heart went into a dangerous rhythm that can lead to a heart attack, called v-tach. I have gone into that rhythm several times in the past, but not for this length of time that it showed. In my 2 1/2 years of having my ICD, I’ve never received a call about being close to a heart attack, so a call like that is always a bit alarming. Granted I know this is the exact reason why I have an ICD – I am at a high risk for a heart attack. Still not an easy pill to swallow when it’s a phone call you don’t expect to get on a Monday. I am so thankful for the support from the school I work at, as I digested that phone call. So what’s the plan? They passed my information on to the device/arrhythmia team and will see what results come back from my testing this Tuesday…

And that has brought upon a tough week for sweet Mazy. Anytime I have an appointment, Mazy’s worry about me coming home after going to Michigan, skyrockets. She fears I will never come back. We believe this all stems from my heart surgeries in 2017 and though she was only 2 1/2, it’s hard to see how traumatizing that has been to her, not having a mom who could care for her the way she needed for a few months.

On Tuesday, I go to Ann Arbor to have a CT scan with contrast and an ECHO. The timing of it couldn’t be better after the v-tach incident. They are going to test the pressures of my heart and see if I have any partial blockages. So nothing huge, just more “routine” (for me) I’d say. Though for Mazy, these are life-altering appointments. And that’s the way we have to see these appointments – through her eyes. Her sweet little heart and mind can’t process all of the emotions she is feeling, and so it comes out through many tears and not wanting to leave my side. My heart absolutely breaks for her and I often cry right along with her. To be honest, heart failure is a hard disease because it waivers so frequently and there isn’t a cure, but simply a managing of symptoms. It is something I will battle with the rest of my life and this will forever be a part of our family’s life too. Mazy has one of the biggest hearts and feels all the feels with every ounce of her. So we are trying to find creative ways to help her work through the anxieties of what my heart failure does to her, and just praying that God works mightily within her. Without a doubt, we know God is using this to grow her own faith and show himself in her life. But boy is it hard to see her so panicked and worried, knowing in those moments, all we can do is hold her and keep loving her with our whole hearts.

We know we are not the only ones who struggle to get their kids to go to school :). So each day we make it through, is a victory and I give credit to my parents who had to deal with me not wanting to go to school like my 1st grade year! Granted different circumstances, but similar feelings. We know God sees, God knows, God hears, and this is just yet another bump in the road. So we are trusting forward that God will see us through this and in the end, we will be able to once again, tell of his faithfulness.

ALL that to say, if you get a chance, say a little prayer for our sweet Mazy in the days to come, as this is just as much of a journey for her as it is for Dan and I. She needs all the love she can get! We are SO thankful for her school who has gone above and beyond for her already!

Here’s what our week has looked like:

Rockstar dad right here…making clay pots poolside:

Helping Grandma gather eggs in a cute little apron:

Dan was gone fishing this past weekend, and Mazy had to make sure daddy felt comforted, so she sent a stuffie with him:

Happy 40th TO THIS GUY:

Mazy had a soccer game on Saturday and not only did grandparents come and watch, but also her teacher! It absolutely made Mazy’s DAY!

After her game, for our “girls” weekend, we went to the zoo and rode the little train that brings you up to the top:

Mazy’s self-portrait:

I was so thankful for quality time with Mazy this weekend as we did ALL the things (pictures were a bit lacking). But it was exactly what we both needed after an emotional week! And now we are back together as a family of 3, or 4 as Mazy would say because how could we EVER forget about our dog Maggie?