Book Recommendations – Helping Your Child Cope With A Parent’s Illness

The unexpected happens. A parent is diagnosed with a serious or chronic illness. As the parent, you know you’ve got the willpower and confidence that you will do your best to fight, even though the journey is painful, tiring, and tough. But for anyone who has experienced a difficult illness or circumstance, you know full well, it doesn’t just affect you. it affects your family.

There is no way to fully prepare a child for what’s to come, nor is there a way to help them fully comprehend and process all that is happening around them. And that is where my mama’s heart has struggled most. I have made the comment before, and I think it still holds true, give me open heart surgery any day over seeing my daughter struggle with my chronic illness.

Having a daughter who is 6-years-old and struggling to process my heart failure, it’s been hard to find ways to help her cope. Besides prayer, God’s grace, and the village of people around us, one of the biggest influencers has been books. I know that may sound like such an anti-climatic solution, but our daughter has related well to feelings expressed within the pages of a book. Books have a way of expressing in words, feelings that our daughter may not have been able to put into words before. The feelings have always been there, and even though our daughter is exceptionally good at expressing her feelings (I attribute that to her being an only child :)), she still struggles to process all that has occurred in her life. Most recently, she has been diagnosed with an adjustment disorder with anxiety. And tangibly speaking, God has used books to touch her sweet little heart and help her process those big emotions and feelings.

No matter what struggle or circumstance you are going through in life as a parent, your child can be effected. And sometimes as parents, we too, just don’t have the words to help our child cope. So here are some books that I personally recommend, that have helped our daughter cope:

Invisible String by Patrice Karst

This book has been our number one go-to when our daughter struggles with separation anxiety, even though this book is perfect for children who have suffered loss and grief. It’s a concept that children can understand and we have even made a tangible “invisible string” for Mazy to take with her to school when she is struggling. We simply took a piece of yarn and put sticker hearts on it. I have one too, so that when I am gone, I can take it with me, so our hearts are always connected. We believe that God’s love is all we need, but the separation a child experiences when a parent is ill, is real and devastating. And this book does an excellent job at addressing that. There is also a WORKBOOK available!

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn

Mazy was given this book by her Kindergarten teacher, and even though it is an older book, it is the PERFECT book to use when a child struggles with going to school. We have read this book several times. A timeless act that can change a child’s life.

Where’d My Giggle Go? – Max Lucado

While at a local Christian bookstore, I saw this book when Mazy was really struggling. As a parent, that is what we missed, was her giggle. So I bought it and right away, she related to it. What I like about this book, is that even though anxiety is so real, there is power in helping others and looking outside of ourselves, whether a child or adult. That is something we started to practice, in finding ways to help others, and it truly does make a difference!

Zoe’s Hiding Place by David Powlison – When You Are Anxious

I had a friend give us this book and since then, it has been one of our daughter’s favorites. It is a story about a mouse being nervous about a class trip, expressing her fears, but also what made her safe. This books encourages us all to look to God during times of fear and anxiety, but also offers practical ideas of how to cope with those fears. This book is also part of a series called “Good News for Little Hearts”, that include books on fitting in, failing, anger, sharing, sadness, stress, jealousy, and more!

It Will Be Okay by Lysa TerKeurst – Trusting God Through Fear and Change

Sometimes a child just needs to be reminded that it will be okay. When everything in their world seems to be spinning out of control and inconsistent, the persistent worry can creep in . This encourages every child, amidst the changes and uncertainties, that they do not need to worry because God is always with us. You will find yourself relating to this message as well.

And now are NEWEST find and the books we read the most…

THE LITTLE SPOT OF SERIES.

While at the library, I saw a new set of books available that taught and emphasized social emotional learning and skills. This is something we have been wrestling with, within our own home and these books have been incredible with helping our daughter process her own big emotions due to my heart failure/disease. Truly, I could buy them all! They are available individually, but the boxed sets are COMPLETELY worth it!

Little Spot of Feelings – 8 Book Box Set (Book 25-32: Empathy, Frustration, Calm, Belonging, Worry, Boredom, Flexible Thinking, & Feelings Detective).

I can’t even begin to tell you how often we have brought up the idea of these books when talking to Mazy. She understands the idea, relates with the feelings and emotions portrayed, helps her identify WHAT she is feeling, and we continue to read them almost on a daily basis! If you have a child who deals with ANY of these emotions in these boxed sets, you will not be disappointed! I will say the “Calm” book talks about yoga, which our daughter has no idea what that is, but the idea of taking a deep breath amidst panic or getting up and stretching to release stress, is a coping tool that is useful, no matter what your age! Can I just say BRAIN BREAKS? Enough said :). 

A Little SPOT of Emotion – 8 Book Box Set (Books 1-8: Anger, Anxiety, Peaceful, Happiness, Sadness, Confidence, Love, & Scribble Emotion)

A Little SPOT of Life Skills – 8 Book Box Set (Books 17-24: Courage, Perseverance, Teamwork, Talent, Thankful, Optimism, Creativity, & Giving)

A Little SPOT Takes Action! – 8 Book Box Set (Books 9-16: Kindness, Responsibility, Patience, Respect, Honesty, Organization, Diversity, & Safety)

This list is not a complete list. These are just the books that have helped us the most. But the book that has brought us the most comfort and peace is THE BIBLE. You can’t beat the very words of God! I mean we couldn’t be ask for more truth to be spoken! For Christmas, Mazy received the Following Jesus ESV Bible for Christmas and every Sunday, it comes with us to church. And the passage that has meant most to us as a family, was our marriage passage, and just so happens to be Mazy’s Bible memory for school, is Psalm 121. What hope we have in knowing this:

If you have any other suggestions, let me know! I love learning as much as I can, not only to help Mazy, but to help others who struggle with illness or difficult circumstances in their own family.