Consolidation Treatment – Round #1
Packing what I’ve now deemed my “hospital bag” once again, was hard to do. I was packing for many unknowns, a cancer journey that I’m still working on accepting, and just wishing I could be home. I thought I was getting to the point of accepting leukemia, but it’s easy to accept it when things are going well. Not when you have to go back and know that the next treatment isn’t going to make ya feel so great. But here we are.
Walking into the children’s hospital has now become somewhat familiar. Faces are becoming familiar, terminology is making more sense, numbers are easier to understand, and this leukemia journey is becoming easier to comprehend. I just still struggle with what disease to focus on and having to mesh the two at times, can feel like a lot.
This round though, has already felt easier. My room is less busy. The pokes and infusions less (so far), the side effects minimal. My doctor said that once I get home it will get a bit more difficult, but at least I’ll be home and they have equipped me with the knowledge I need to hopefully BE successful at home.
Yesterday marked the first day of my consolidation treatments, where I will have 4 total. This means I will be coming back 3 more times for the next 3 months, for 4-5 days each, to receive more treatments. This go-around, I will be receiving 3-4 treatments each day, for the next 4 days, and then on Friday, I hope to come home. I will be going home with the knowledge that I will be having multiple blood draws a week, transfusions (which I will have to come back to U of M for, for the first week), and also try and squeeze in physical therapy. It can feel like a full-time job trying to heal from cancer and I suppose this is why the doctors said I wouldn’t be able to work for the next while. On top of that, managing my side effects with naps and rest.
My oncologists and hematologists are very optimistic, which also makes me optimistic as well. Even though we are still waiting on one more test that could show positive results for leukemia (which she is half expecting), she is not worried and said that this is why we have you come back 4 times for treatment. There is an end in sight, and I just have to remember that Lord-willing, this isn’t forever. We just pray that I will walk out of my 4 treatments, after another bone marrow biopsy, completely CURED. It is possible and that is our hope and prayer, so that then we can deal with my advanced heart failure.
Last week was all about heart stuff with changing up medications and trying to keep my heart as protected as they can while I’m receiving chemo, in hopes of then being able to address my heart failure after this is all said and done. Sometimes I forget about the oddity of having both at such a young age, and yet both have been managed very smoothly, for which we couldn’t be more grateful!
Here I am receiving my first treatment in an outpatient room, while I waited to be admitted. I was a little teary-eyed as I laid down on this bed once again, knowing full well how this was going to make me feel. I still wonder how this could all be happening. But after they hooked me up, I put my fist up in and air and said, “Let’s go!”
A scarred up arm that has been through a lot, but an arm that is still able to receive what my body needs. All grace.
Today the PA encouraged me to leave the floor and enjoy the weather outside for a bit before my next treatment. Such a different feel than on the heart floor! Here they encourage you to leave, get some snacks, and enjoy life outside the four walls of your room. So I grabbed a book, ate some Subway, sat in the sun, and let the Vitamin D soak in before I get settled in for my next round of medications. It was exactly what my heart and mind needed and I get why they “prescribe” this too. Now I’m feeling ready for the next steps.
As always, thank you for walking this unknown journey with us and for continuing to uphold us in prayer and offering support. We truly couldn’t walk this road without those around us! Much love to you all.
