I AM COMING HOME

It’s hard to believe that this day is actually here. COMING HOME day.

Three weeks ago, when I was admitted to monitor my heart before my ablation on September 15, little did I know that when I took my last step out of our house that day, it’d be the last for the next 3 weeks. I look back on the day of my ablation and I remember it so vividly. Being told in the OR that my ablation didn’t happen because of my hemoglobin level. Then hours later, meeting with a hematology doctor who told me she was worried I had cancer. And then what seemed like an hour later, was told I had leukemia. And that night, I was wheeled up to the cancer floor, where I’ve been for the past few weeks.

They often say you remember everything from “the day” you were told you had cancer. And for having a bad memory, I do remember a lot of it. I remember going through all the stages of grief, in a short amount of time. I remember the tears falling and falling, trying to make sense of this new diagnosis. And there sat my family. Having to grieve yet another trial themselves.

Now I sit here today, one chemo round in (called the induction), and my blood counts have recovered to the point that I can GO HOME. I was told I’d be here 4-5 weeks possibly, but they feel I am healthy enough to go home and then come back for my bone marrow biopsy next week Thursday. After that biopsy and after the results come back a few days later, I will be admitted again for about 5-ish days for my second full round of chemo. I’m hoping I have less side effects than the last, but we shall wait and see. I will say though, the doctors are absolutely SHOCKED at how quickly my counts have recovered! In fact, the social worker said they used the word “anomaly” to describe my case. I should’ve said, “Yep, that’s what happens when God is in control!” I am an anomaly in both positive and negative ways, but for the reason, it’s a good thing :).

There are an incredible amount of unknowns for us coming up though. Heart failure is predictable now. Cancer? Not so much. In fact I just learned that my counts are so normal that I DON’T have to worry AS much about getting sick, though would not be ideal at this point b/c all of the immunities I have built up over the past 38 years are gone. But that takes some pressure off. My counts will drop again though after I start my “consolidation” treatments, end of October. To think that there is going to be an up and down journey yet, just with the cancer, seems really daunting at times. I just have to remember that I made it THIS FAR.

I made it through the induction, which is a huge part of the journey. We don’t know what God will decide is best for me, cure or not, but we are trusting forward that He knows best and knows what’s best for eternity.

So today I will be wheeled out of here with a tear in my eye, out of gratefulness to the nurses, techs, and doctors for their care. They’ve become my family and cheerleaders. I will be wheeled out with tears out of gratitude for the love and support we’ve been given during these past 3 weeks. We know this is just the beginning of a LONG journey, but these first steps could not have been as successful if they weren’t for your prayers. I wish I was in that meeting with the doctors about me being an anomaly with my counts because I just want to shout at them IT’S GOD AND THE PRAYERS OF THOSE BACK HOME!! If you have ever wondered if prayer works, let this be a reason it does.

In our household, we are obsessed with watching Dude Perfect. They are a group of 5 guys who do trick shots and have made quite a name for themselves. One thing they pride themselves on is breaking or creating the oddest world records in episodes they call, “ABSURD RECURDS” (absurd records). Mazy told me when I was first hospitalized that I needed to set an ABSURD RECURD in the time it takes to get out of here. I’m not sure what the record is (especially with heart failure), but slightly shy of 3 weeks to me, is pretty good. And it’s not MY record, but what I like to call GOD-SPEED healing.

Thank you for walking with us these past 3 weeks! We ask for continued prayers as this is just the beginning of the journey, that we are told will have many ups and downs. We just pray there are many more UPS than downs, of course! There will be MANY trips back to Ann Arbor not only for cancer, but my heart as well, but we trust that God has already paved the way (no put intended) and that each time we travel here, God already has it all marked out for us. Trusting in His perfect sovereignty and providence today and always!