I Took A What?

A nap.

When you hear the word “nap,” what is the first thing that comes to mind?

For me, it’s honestly the word lazy. Forgive me for saying that, but for some reason, that is the first word that came to mind after I thought of the word “nap.”

Now if you are a napper, do not think that I am calling you lazy. I truly am not. In fact, I am now applauding you. Because I too, am joining the nap club.

This whole “changing of lifestyle” for me, due to my heart, is quite telling of who I am. I fully admit, I am stubborn. I can be a stick in the mud. I can get an attitude. And like I said earlier, I have a hard time accepting reality.

Over the past few months, I have been increasing tired. I have always been one who has enjoyed her night’s sleep, like a go to bed between 10-11 type girl. But you would NEVER catch me napping. If I took a nap, I saw myself as being lazy and not trying to accomplish what I set out to do that day. My friends, my whole mindset has changed. Thank you, heart condition!

The past few weeks, I have not been able to go more than just a few days without taking a nap. And most recently, I have been napping DAILY. That is why I cleverly called this blog post “I took a what?” This is not like me. You see, my to-do list is always never-ending. Truly. Because I make it that way. That’s just who I am (not in a good way). I have a hard time resting. I have a hard time just BEing. And napping requires both of those.

But the very thing I keep forgetting to add to my to-do list is one of the most important things – taking care of myself.

If you are a mom out there (and I only have one child), you just have to look around your house and realize how much there is to do in a day. You are probably thinking, “I have no time for a nap.” You know what? You are right! In fact, depending on the age of your children, taking a nap just really isn’t an option. But how about resting? How about “vegging” time?

The day I had to tell Dan that I took a nap was a very odd day for me. I felt I was telling him one of my biggest secrets. I felt like less of a person, really. I know, feel free to laugh. I’m telling you, this is how unlike me this is. But the day I decided to take a nap instead of trying to pick up the next thing around the house, was the day I couldn’t have felt better. And now, almost every other day, if not daily, you will find me snoozing for at least 15 minutes. It’s not long, but it’s just long enough for me to accept my situation, give my body a rest, give my HEART a rest, and so I can refuel for the rest of the day.

It may not be a nap for you. Maybe you don’t need one and trust me, I hope I get to that point some day again, when my body doesn’t need one. Maybe it’s kicking your feet up? Maybe it’s going on that jog? Maybe it’s reading your favorite magazine? We all have that one thing that if we had to tell someone we did that, we might feel a little “lazy.” We might feel like we aren’t accomplishing what we are supposed to be doing. But let me tell you, I think we ALL need a little dose and kick in the pants of doing what is good for us, instead of accomplishing the next thing on the to-do list. And it is NOT being lazy!

I write this, not because I have perfected this, but because it’s a SLOW work in progress for me. EVERYTIME I lay my head on the pillow, no covers even needed, I think “oh, I could be doing this…” but I choose to keep my eyes shut. I have to shut off my brain and push out the lie that I am being lazy. And slowly I fade off into a restful sleep, waking up, feeling like a new person. I wake up knowing that was the best choice I could have made not only for myself, but for my family too. If I kept trying to push through, not caring for me, I will only crash and burn later. That’s the truth. And that’s the truth for ALL of us, isn’t it?

What is your “I took a WHAT” or “I did WHAT” moment? What is that one thing you feel guilty admitting doing, but know that it was the best choice you could have made?