Knitted Together
One of my goals this year is to read the Bible again in one year, but this time in chronological order. Unfortunately I don’t remember everything I read last year, hence me reading through the Bible again. I was reading Genesis 4:1 which says:
Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.”
I do not believe in coincidences or things happening by chance. I believe everything happens for a reason when you believe God is sovereign. I read that verse and I have yet to read further. That verse has really hit me – I’m sure I’ve read it 50 times, but I never picked up on the “with the help of the Lord, I have brought forth a man.”
That verse led me straight to Psalm 139:13-16 which say:
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
That passage is another one that I’m sure I’ve read 50 times – but even more so than ever before, I TREASURE these verses. They are bringing me to tears because I have such peace in my heart that I know God will see us through this coming year. There have been a lot of tears of pain over the past couple of years. This year, I know that no matter WHAT happens, God is the ONLY ONE who could make this happen. Dan, Brenda, and I could have all the appointments in the world to make the conditions just right to make this gestational carrier process work. But ultimately, it is GOD who designs that little one to be. He already KNOWS if we will end up with a child or not. HE is the one who helps “bring forth a man (or woman).”
Dan and I have said numerous times that there are so many little things that have to line up just right for this to work. Many tests, evaluations, the right meds, the right timing, the right setting, the list goes on. I thought that the process of “creating” a baby between two people was complicated – I’ve learned that having a 3rd person makes it that much more complicated. ALL THE MORE reason why this is all about God. GOD will see us through all of the appointments and tests. GOD will knit that baby together. GOD will make sure it attaches to Brenda’s womb. GOD will watch over the baby as the body forms.
And if a baby is not knit together? We know that was not God’s will for our life. We have been given the opportunity of a lifetime. But we know that this opportunity can only happen by God’s mighty hand. There are WAY too many variables out of our control in this situation. Dan and I have said before (in our moments of doubt) that if this doesn’t work, what would be the test or process that God would choose to stop it? This process is causing us to take such a giant leap of faith! We know that if we continue to seek His will, He will show us His most perfect way.
And…
Maybe, just maybe, we will end up with one of our own.
