Let God Be God

I thought I was immune to cancer.

I thought that since I had heart failure that there was no way God would ever allow me to get cancer. Heart failure felt like enough. Trying to live life with heart failure, amidst all the things I wanted to do in life, felt like more than enough. Or so I thought.

You know those passages in the Bible that hit you differently than previously, based on your life circumstances at the moment? I have always loved the well-known verses from Proverbs 3:5-6 which say,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

    and lean not on your own understanding;

 in all your ways submit to him,

    and he will make your paths straight.

In my own understanding, I didn’t think I needed cancer. Who does? Often our own understanding is based on our feelings, previous experience, and human experience when it comes to a situation. We think how in the world would a good God allow cancer in anyone’s life? But that question alone, is us leaning on our own understanding. I’m not saying we can’t ask God why (in fact, he wants us to go to him with every question under the sun, he’s not offended), but wondering what he’s up to, says that in our own understanding, we don’t get it, and we need trust in the Lord with ALL our heart.

In verse 6 it says to “submit to him”. Do you struggle with this part of the verse? I’d like to think I don’t as a Christian, but you know what I haven’t fully done? Surrender my cancer to God. I haven’t submitted it 100% to Him. I still want to control certain parts of it. Same with my heart failure. Almost a bargaining with God…well if “this” or this “doesn’t” happen, it would just make more sense. The thing is, God can heal us at any level HE wants to. Or if healing means he would get lesser of the glory, well what do we really want if our hearts are submitted to him? Our paths are made straight IF we submit to him. This is where I need to let God be God – the faithful, sovereign, and all-wise God – who knows every detail of my life to the fullest. No need for me to try and figure it out.

When I lean on my own understanding, it’s never beautiful. I become worried, fearful, on edge, you name the negative emotion. But my very God, is willing to take ahold of my hand and lead me down straight paths. This very God knows every detail. He already knows how he will answer our prayers. He knows when they will be answered. Would I like to be clued in on his plans? Absolutely! But then I tend to sway towards wanting to lean on my own understanding again and as the Bible says, that’s not where I should be planting my feet.

When I let God be God, I am reminded that I am immune to nothing. But what God does protect me from, is swaying off the straight path when I submit to Him. When I let God be God, I can let go of how I think life should go and entrust my life to the one who holds the map of my life anyways. There is so much freedom in that and I pray that you too, will find freedom in submitting to Him. Leaning not on our own understanding, but leaning on him and letting God be God, there is peace, rest, and reassurance. Let God be God. And I’m still learning too.