Moments of Miracles and Speechlessness

I first want to say thank you for understanding what I was trying to say in my last post. I was honestly nervous to post it because it was those deep, deep pieces of my heart, that I knew I wanted to share, but wasn’t certain how they would be taken. Sharing the depths of our feelings, we know we don’t “need” to, but this part of our story is just as important as the others.

That is why we want to share. In the joys and the struggles.

Another reason I have been a little sheepish in sharing lots of pregnancy updates, is because of my cautious heart. I would be lying if there wasn’t a small portion of me that was a little nervous after week 7, after the miscarriage scare, that maybe this too, wouldn’t end in the way we had hoped and prayed for.

But that experience taught us something. Over and over again, Dan and I said to each other during that time, that we weren’t sure we could go through another miscarriage. But what we caught ourselves saying is that WE couldn’t do it – we weren’t focusing on what GOD could do.

And that is the hope we hold on to. No matter what happens, God is STILL in control and is STILL sovereign. It has taken time to learn to let go of this child. To give this child over to God. A lesson I am learning early on, but a lesson that I have learned to live by, back in 2012 with our little Hooties.

Giving to God what He has given to us. Learning to give our two little children back to God in a physical way, was very difficult. But now we have the privilege of giving this child back to God in a parental surrendering, way (so far). Everyday I wake up, I think “this is a child of God”. Created by God. Cared for by God. Designed by God. I am humbled that He has given me the privilege of caring for this child in my womb. What a gift. An unexplainable gift. God saw fit in our lives, that at this time, this is what He wanted – a child to grow within.

Every. Day. We. Are. Speechless. To carry with me, a child who is so uniquely fabricated, by the fingers of God, who is growing at an insane rate, yet is sustained inside my body, is a miracle that is just as shocking to experience since the first day we found out I was pregnant.

What is that thing in your life, that has left YOU speechless? What is that one thing right now, that is causing you to run back to God in thanksgiving or maybe in a tearful surrender? God knows. He knows the beginning and the end of what the situation may be. Don’t let those miraculous moments slip by – those moments that lay the landmarks for our future.