Monday – Matters of the Heart – Eating the Apple

Starting out the week with God…

This year I am attempting to read through the Bible again. I have found the past two years to be extremely beneficial in learning things that I had never even recognized or heard of before. You’d think after how many years, you’d learn it all, but I realize the more I learn about the Bible, the less I know.

Yesterday as I was reading through Genesis, I got caught up in Genesis 3. Again, I have read this chapter umpteen times, but something caught my eye this time.

Genesis 3:1-7
 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Adam and Eve were not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Then Satan came along and told them if they ate the apple, they could know everything. They wanted to be like God – they wanted to know good and evil. I thought, huh? If someone told me today that I could eat only an apple and then know EVERYTHING? Would I have a hard time turning that down? I sat in my chair and pondered.

Sadly and sheepishly, I thought I would have a hard time saying no. Would you?

I realized at that moment, I still am clinging to my own desires and trusting my own flesh, rather than trusting God. Here God has OFFERED to bear the weight of worry, decisions, the future, and here I sit wanting to know. Come ON, Kristin?

As I realized how my flesh was desiring to know all, God reminded me of who He was – someone who is willing to bear the weight. Someone who is trustworthy – He has done nothing but shown Himself 100% trustworthy. He has never failed me. Dan and I are in a time in our life when so much seems uncertain. We are supposed to leave for Belize this coming Sunday, and Dan is still sick (he’s been for a week now). I keep telling myself, if we are meant to go, then God will have us go. If not, then it’s just not God’s will. It is so hard to just let it go. I think back to Alaska – SO thought I was going 4 years ago, then a few days before, bam, I wasn’t healthy enough after my  pilonidal cyst surgery. I couldn’t go to Alaska (until this past year). NOTHING is certain, except Christ. So then, why do I put my hopes and dreams into things that are temporary? Why do I constantly need reminders to put my faith and trust in the one who is solely trustworthy? B/c I continue to worry and can’t just take each day, day by day. I want to know EVERYTHING. I want to know the future. I want to know where God is calling us. In saying that, that means my time is better than His. Just let it go.

After that moment in the chair last night, I realized that I don’t want to know everything, deep down inside, because I want to trust God instead. He is my Rock. He is my fortress when the storms of life roll in. He is willing and ready to take care of me, of Dan, and everything going on in our life. I just need to choose to not “eat of that apple.”

Maybe a somber way to start the week, but God really challenged me with that last night and I hope you too, will choose to trust instead of eating the apple. Trust me, I have a long ways to go :).