One More Day
Tomorrow I should be busting out of here and boy, I couldn’t be more ready! In my head, I thought these days would go pretty smoothly, but they’ve been proving to be harder and harder as they go on. Chemotherapy sure does a number to the body, which to me, hopefully says that it’s still doing it’s job.
The fatigue and nausea have set in, but thanks to the amazing nurses who offer great anti-nausea meds and resting in bed, is surely what the doctor ordered for good reason. Food sounds less than appealing, but as long as I can keep up on my anti-nausea meds, some things do go down okay. Needless to say, I am SO ready to be home, to eat whatever sounds good at that given moment, even if it’s just a few bites, and to just be in my own home.
It is pretty quiet up on my floor this go-around, that’s for sure. A completely different feel on the leukemia consolidation floor, with only 10 beds to the unit. I once again realize the odd age that I am here, but I want to prove that this can be done at any age. In fact, the cleaning guy told my nurse that he never sees the patient, but that the visitor is always sitting in the couch or chair. She chuckled and said, “She IS the patient!” Not minutes after, I had come back from walking downstairs for a bit and the check-in lady asked if I had a visitor’s pass. I told her I was a patient and she said, “well, let’s get you a visitor’s pass…” (clearly, she didn’t believe me, though she was very kind about it). She asked who I was there to see and I for some reason raised my arm to scratch my head that had my hospital band on and she chuckles and said, “Wow, you really ARE the patient!” We both laughed it off…
Sometimes I wonder why I am here too. It has felt like a lot again, especially when I don’t feel well. Tears well up in my eyes as I long for a day where I can just feel like Kristin. I felt we had a glimpse of that while camping this past weekend and now all I want is more of that. To think I have to do this 3 more times, seems like a LOT. But as Dan reminded me, I’m almost 1/4 of the way done already. All perspective. Face-timing my family just doesn’t seem like enough. Managing all of the appointments, suggestions, and to-dos feels so overwhelming, but the saying “one step at a time” keeps running through my head. God has paved the way, now I just have to take one step at a time through this journey.
So here’s to GOING HOME tomorrow! I will have to head back (we think twice next week for transfusions), but then my trips out here should be less until I go back for my next consolidation treatment the end of November. Sadly, I will miss one of my most favorite times of the year, our town’s annual Christmas parade. I will probably shed a tear over this, but sometimes you’ve gotta miss out on the good to get to the better. At least that’s what I’m trying to tell myself!
Thank you for checking in, for praying, and for walking through the ups and downs with us. I pray for a day where we will feel some sort of normalcy again to help prepare us for the next steps, but that is when we have to leave it in God’s hands, since He knows best anyways!
We will continue to lift your family up in prayer!!
Thank you so much, Betty!!
Praying for you. Keep trusting as you take each moment of each day. We serve a wonderful God! Feel a hug.
Thank you for your words and prayers, Barb! Feeling the hugs from afar and what a mighty God we do serve! Much love to you!
I pray for you every day Kristin. I am pleading with God to heal you from Leukemia AND I am boldly asking Him to totally mend your heart too! He is able. But for now, it is baby steps to get there. May peace flood over you as you pass through hard days. You are not alone.
Kerry,
Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayers! Thank you for praying boldly on our behalf as we know that no statistic can thwart God’s plans, but ultimately HE is in control of this all. And we just PRAY that on the other side, I can conquer this all, even if it means baby steps. Though sometimes I wish they were BIG steps forward :). Thank you for walking this journey with us and I just so appreciate you taking the time to share your love and words with me, Kerry! They mean a lot to me!
Kristin I think of you often and have been keeping you in my prayers . Your words inspire me . Thanks for sharing. Hugs ! And praying you are home soon !!!
Candace, Thank you for your message! It’s always good to hear from you and see you around town! Thank you too, for your words and prayers, we know we don’t walk alone, despite how crazy this journey is. I don’t know what we’d do without the words of encouragement from others! Thank you, Candace 🙂
Tears well in my eyes reading your words. You have a gift of encouraging others through your words and journey. I wish you weren’t facing this but God is for sure the guide and is with you each step of the way. Praying for healing, relief from nausea, for good days where you feel well, for hope and joy. God is for you, fights your battles, is your pilot will NOT fail you. Keep trusting and claiming those promises as your own!! Praying for you across the lake!! ♥️♥️
Thank you for your prayers, Melissa! My prayer through this all is that people see how BIG our God is, even if it’s through the hard things in life. Knowing He is fighting for me, gives me so much comfort because some days are hard to battle. Yet He is faithful! Thank you for lifting us up from across the lake :), Melissa!