Simple Living: Holding On Too Tight
Yesterday I asked what you most valued?
Were you able to make a list? If so, did you find yourself listing more items than you would like? Valuing something in and of itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Valuing something you worked hard for, makes you appreciate the effort you put into obtaining it. You want to protect it, take care of it, and make sure it does what it’s supposed to do. The question is: how tightly are you holding onto that item?
As the saying goes, “you brought nothing into this world, so you can’t taking anything out of it.”
Have you ever sat down and thought about that? EVERYTHING you have, you have either been given, you made, found, or have purchased it. EVERYTHING. Sit and ponder that thought for a second.
When you start to think about that, do you find yourself hanging onto items a little more tightly? Do you become more proud of what you have made or earned? Again, those initial thoughts aren’t necessarily negative, but if one day, all of your possessions were “poof”, gone, how would you react?
One of the biggest lessons in “stuff” can be found, sadly enough, when someone passes away. I do not say that lightly and I understand that when someone passes away, that it is the families left behind, that are now responsible for that person’s stuff. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my family to be overwhelmed if all of a sudden something tragically happened. I do not want my family to be burdened with my inability to keep a decluttered home, and while they are grieving, have to deal with the stress of my stuff. I know that is maybe a different way of looking at a situation like this, but I have heard too many stories from others, who have been so overwhelmed with the amount of stuff in their beloved’s home, that they have no idea where to turn. I personally do not want to cause my family stress.
Again, that is a completely hypothetical situation, yet in reality, it is true for so many. We took nothing into this world and we can take nothing out. I am not saying that you should go and sell all of your possessions. FAR from that. In fact, I think we are given things to enjoy. But how much is too much? How much can we really be GOOD stewards of? How much can we have, without it just sitting there, going to waste?
A few thoughts to ponder, as you consider how tightly you hold onto your possessions. This maybe was an interesting take on this subject, but I can’t tell you how many emails/comments I have received when it comes to family’s possessions. Think about what you have and what you own.
Is it too much?
Reading this makes me think about how people cope when if they loose all their posessions quickly (for example through something like a house-fire or hurricaine). It cant be easy to have to start again, but in some degree it must also be quite liberating.
We are seriously contemplating a move back to my home country of New Zealand (OH is a Brit and we currently live in the UK) in the not too distant future, and I find myself looking at things and asking myself if an item will come with us, if not why am I holding on to it. It makes it much easier for me to let stuff go.
Good to hear from you :)! How far out do you think you are from moving to N.Z.? I bet there is a lot of excitement in thinking about that – starting a new chapter and almost starting over with a lot of STUFF. Deciding whether to move something across the country probably really puts it in perspective. Keep me updated!
Thanks Kristin. Im hoping we will head out over the next couple of years. Ive been in the UK for 24 now and year to return 'home', OH was born and bred in the UK. Id go tomorrow if I could, but we have a lot of work ahead getting our house renovations finished so we can sell it for a decent price.
Sounds like you have a lot ahead of you and a lot to look forward to! Also, lots TO do. Take your time, enjoy every moment, because before you know it, you will say goodbye to the place you've lived for, for 24 years, with great anticipation for the future 🙂
Dealing with first my mother's stuff 16yrs ago, then my father's second wife's things 7 yrs ago (she had no other family), and now his things this past year has been a devastating thing for me to go through. I feel like I have had cloud over my head for years. And I keep finding things of theirs. My kids don't want most of it and there are some family heirlooms such as a functional platform rocker from about 1889. And we have my husband's mothers things to go through when she passes. Both of us are only children. It has made me look at a lot of things much differently. I don't want to leave a mess of stuff like I was left with for my children to go through what I have gone through. At least there's two of them but I'm pretty sure most of it will fall to my daughter. Please think about it. China, military stuff, memories of Hawaii, clothes, carpenter's tools, ammo reloading stuff, camping gear, tons of pictures, kitchen ware, cassettes, sports equipment, tons of paperwork to go through, bedding, even a mink stole from the 30s and the list goes on with so many memories. It has been overwhelming. Yard sales, donations, giving it to family…. Yes, there are different ways to handle it but I had to do it in the ways that worked for me. And guess what! It's still just stuff. Little by little, I'm whittling it down but in the end, it won't be a good memory of a lot of wasted years. I swear it has made me ADD. TOO MUCH STUFF.
Paulette, THANK YOU for sharing this! You are speaking from such a personal experience when it comes to dealing with other's stuff and how it can really impact a person. As I was reading this, I was trying to put myself in your shoes and Paulette, I just can't imagine. I would be so overwhelmed because like you said in the end, it's just stuff. So many memories – but no one can EVER take away those memories. The stuff yes, but not the memories. Hold onto those. Letting go is so difficult because it feels as if you are letting go of the past. But really, you are letting go of the stress of it. Keep going through everything as it will be worth it in the end Paulette! You can do it and thank you for giving us all a personal perspective of what it takes to go through everyone's things.