The Beauty Of Taking A Step Back
Throughout the past few weeks, there have been moments when I have been so caught up IN the moment, that I forget to relish and cherish the journey. I can’t say that I am just letting the time get by me, but I realize that in certain times, it is easy to just live each day without taking a step back and really treasuring every moment.
I have realized that when I take time to take a step back, it is in those moments that I have been brought to tears. I have literally felt my heart flutter in gazing at the beauty of the moment. It’s in those moments that I am at peace – a peace that only God can give. A peace that says “this was worth the wait.” Mazy Grace has been worth every minute of the waiting process. She has been worth the journey of heartache, loss, grief; and tears. Little does she know that she has 2 siblings waiting for her in heaven! Even though those times were extremely difficult, God’s plan was sovereign and perfect. And that is why as we continue to live in this plan, I want to take time to step back and see the beauty of the road God has and is taking us on.
Raising a newborn, I am learning that it is easy to just get into the groove of feeding Mazy, changing her, and rocking her to sleep. It is when I step back and watch her sleep from a distance, that my heart feels a deeper love. It is when I put her down, take a step back, and watch her gaze at the mobile on her playmat, that I see a beautiful little human that God created, which has made us parents.
It is when I step back and watch Dan hold and cuddle with Mazy, that I realize THIS is what I dreamed of seeing for so many years. THIS is what I imagined parenting to be. This is the beauty of parenthood – seeing a father love his little girl. To see him stand by her door, watching her sleep. To hear him talking ever so gently to her listening ears. To watch Mazy stare into his eyes as he gives her a bath. As his wife, it is in those moments that makes me love Dan all the more!
It is when I take a step back from always being the one to hold her and allow others to love little Mazy, that I realize we live in a community that is also raising this child. Yes, we are Mazy’s parents, but we are blessed with so many others who have chosen to love her as well – love her with their smiles, their arms, and their words.
It is when I take a step back and allow others to care for Dan and I, that I realize that we too, need to nurture and care for ourselves as well. Saying yes to a friend who has offered to watch her while I run my errands for the week, allows me to take time away, sit back, and cherish how much I love that little girl, even though we are apart. Allowing others to bring a meal so that I can take a step back from the kitchen. Allowing friends to just hold her for hours on end, as we engage in adult conversations, laugh, and just live life together as friends.
It is when I take a step back and stop the everyday thoughts that go through my head and think about what God has done in our life, that only leads me to sing Amazing Grace. I can’t tell you how many times I have sung that song to our baby girl, with tears in my eyes. Looking into those big blue eyes of hers, as she gazes right back at me, that I realize the true gift and miracle that Mazy is.
I do not want this short time of my life in raising her, to go by without realizing the beauty of it. The beauty of parenthood. The beauty of community. The beauty of a little newborn. The beauty of what God has done in our life.
What area of life do you need to take a step back in? To realize the beauty of a situation?
