The Kindness of God

Fear. Worry.

As much as we want to say our faith is stronger than those words, these emotions and feelings still creep in. I used to be a perpetual worry-wart, and though circumstances have changed my level of worry for the good, I still find myself wondering in certain situations, how is this all going to work out? How is the pain of our present circumstances, ever going to diminish? How is it ever going to be healed? It’s not necessarily my own life that I have fear about, but it’s those who have lost jobs. Loved ones. Homes. Who have lost so much more.

How do we keep trusting forward in faith, when our circumstances seem to keep us from taking those leaps of faith, that we once knew to take?

Through remembering the kindness of God.

It’s easy to allow our minds to think that God isn’t “kind” right now. That he doesn’t have our best interests in mind. It’s hard to believe that this is “for our good”. How is pain, suffering, worry, and fear, all for our good?

I honestly don’t know the answer to this question because I only see one little snippet of life. Not the big picture like our omniscient God does. But what I do know, is that he is STILL kind. And he is STILL faithful.

Take a journey with me through your life. Have you seen the grace and kindness of God in it? Even in the most difficult of times? It’s when I remember those moments – the valley, deep in the pit moments – that remind me God is so much greater and bigger than my circumstances. It’s not the mountain-top experiences that I first think of, but the grit and grime, that brought me to a place of growth. A place of remembering.

Ironically though, it’s so easy to look past the kindness of God when things are going well. We go through life trying to avoid every pain we can. In fact, as a parent, I often treat that as my goal – to prevent as much pain for my child, so she can live a happy life.

When I was diagnosed with a rare heart condition at 17, there was nothing my parents could’ve done. It was solely what God allowed in my life. Though I know without a doubt, and they even verbalized this, that they wished they didn’t have to see me go through it. They wanted to take away that pain. But that was not what was best for Kristin. But through that moment, I’ve been able to see the kindness of God.

When I think back on the timeline of my life, I see the kindness of God most evident when I couldn’t walk or barely talk in an ICU bed. I see the kindness of God, even through the death of our twins via a carrier. I see the kindness of God through losing the ability to play my favorite sport, basketball, due to a heart condition. I see the kindness of God through the uncertain times of health issues. I see the kindness of God deeper in the moments of crisis and struggle.

Of course it’s easy to say God is kind when things are going the way we had planned. When everything seems to be falling into place. But can we say God is kind when things don’t go the way we had planned? Can we still see his grace and kindness amidst the pain and struggle?

It’s a faith choice. We can choose to see God for who he really is, or we can listen to the lies of the Enemy that maybe God really isn’t trustworthy. That he really isn’t “that” great of a God. That maybe he doesn’t have our best interest in mind when he allows what he does. But when we make the faith choice to cling to his grace, his sovereignty, and his peace, it will open up a whole new world to his kindness. And it’s a kindness that will bring you to your knees in gratitude to God.