When I Catch Myself…

I suppose I would still label myself as a new mom. I don’t really know when that classification or title is no longer, but what I do know is that I am learning that am…

Weird.

Feel free to laugh! I’d like to think that the excuse is in being a new mom, but I am realizing I will do whatever it takes. Whatever it takes to put a smile on my baby’s face. Whatever it takes to talk to her. To make her laugh.

And I am sure you can relate to the fact that you catch yourself doing things that you never thought you’d do. Mothering has a way of bringing out a side of you, you really can’t prepare yourself for. You find yourself cheering for things that are frowned upon as adults. You find yourself acting in ways that would cause neighboring people to question your sanity.

I am sure you have been there!

This specific dance move comes out and you wonder where in the world you learned that, but it is making your baby smile, so you continue to bust a move. Oh boy!

Your baby passes gas of all sorts and since when is it okay to cheer them on and say “oh, good toot” or “nice burp, I bet that felt good!” I catch myself cheering her on. Always. And I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.

While jogging, I hear Mazy talking to the trees. I then catch myself talking to them with her, only encouraging her love for them.

When grocery shopping, I find myself asking her what type of bread to buy? As if she has this deep and profound opinion, but lo and behold, she helps me make that choice. Every week. Every time. With everything I buy. Boy, those shoppers around me have to wonder!

I catch myself jamming way too hard to Christian rap. Though, this is the one thing that my daughter will still to this day, fall asleep to. While she is sleeping, I still find myself jammin’. Oops!

When changing a diaper, I tell Mazy what the diaper looks like. I often say “oooh, it’s a wet one!” As if she really cares? As if she doesn’t already know?

I catch myself saying “what should we wear today” when looking at Mazy’s closet. Poor girl, I am already starting the “what to wear” woes! Again, as if she really cares!

Did you ever wonder where you learned to make these crazy noises that come out of your mouth? As you try and copy what your baby does, or try and teach her a new sound, you wonder why in the world YOU are making that sound! But hey, it puts a smile on their face, right?

After being spit up on, I catch myself saying “it’s okay…” and really, it is. I truly don’t care. But if it was anything else? Like ketchup or grease? I would be upset. But when it comes to spit up, it becomes a new favorite fragrance.

And then her toys. Who would’ve thought that as an adult, I find just as much enjoyment in playing with her toys as she does? Have you ever found yourself saying to a toy “whoa, that’s cool!” Ah, the simple things in life!

I am sure you can think of many things you catch yourself doing, that make you wonder! Like putting my headband like Mazy’s (in the picture above).

But in all of this, I love the person that Mazy has brought out in me. She has taught me to not care what other people think. She has taught me that it’s okay to just be yourself. To do what you love. To love your baby well. And that is what I care about.

Loving well.