When I’m 90, Will This Really Matter?

It’s been a long haul, this life.

There have been too many times to count when life looked fairly grim. While being wheeled back for my 2nd open heart surgery in 17 days, I vividly remember being wheeled into an elevator, asking the nurse if it was a risky surgery? It was silent long enough for me to realize that that question would bring about an answer that this man wondered if I truly wanted to hear. He summarized it this way: we are going to do what we can. And moments later, as they worked on trying to get me under for the surgery, my breathing became very difficult and I wondered if that was it.

But I woke up. Again! Whew. Made it through that one.

I have joked with my doctors (both heart and cancer) that I am going to live til I’m 90, so anything they want to try, I’m up for it, if it means I get another chance at getting there. Now of course, God already has my days numbered According to statistics though, I should’ve been gone LONG ago. But folks, this girl isn’t giving up! And it’s in the motivation to live til I’m 90, that makes me think twice about HOW I live my life.

How I spend my time, matters.

How I spend my talent, matters.

How I spend my money, matters.

We often think of “spending” as something we only do with money, but everyday, we are “spending” something. Spending ourselves TO something. Either we are spending and giving ourselves to the ways of this world, or are spending and giving ourselves to GOD.

And it’s out of our character, that we spend. Are we spending our time to gain prestige? Popularity? Recognition? Or out of gratitude for what God has given us? Are we spending our talents and gifts so that others will notice us and give us a pat on the back? Or out of the desire to give God the honor and glory? Are we spending our money in a way that only pushes us closer to the top (that top that doesn’t exist)? Or out of complete humbleness that all that we have is God’s and we are just stewards over it all, to use for His Kingdom?

I often think, “When I’m 90, is this going to matter?”

When you feel stuck, feel lost, feel yourself questioning if the pursuits you are making are worth it, ask yourself, “Is this going to matter when you’re 90?”

This may make you think twice.