When Our Children Are Made For More

The other day I was playing Legos with our daughter. As she was verbalizing this little pretend play script, I loved to hear what her little mind was imagining. My husband and I often look at each other when we hear her pretending away and say, “It’s so fun to just hear her play!”

And of course, children are meant for more than just satisfying our hearts as parents. But look at our world. Children can sometimes become idols – more important than anything else in our lives. We see them as what they can DO and as these personal trophies, instead of WHO they are. We want to raise them in a way that either fixes our pasts or replicates who we are – can I just say “living vicariously through our children?” We can so easily find our value in our kids, and not in Christ. And this is where we have to remember that children are meant for SO much more!

Develop Character, Not Talents

We have been working on sight words in our house. Our daughter wants to learn to read in the worst way, but that is a bit of a process I’m realizing! Of course I want her to be a good reader, but have I had moments when I want it more than she does? Yes. I mean that in the sense that she was just done the other day and I’m like okay, 2 more. Granted there isn’t anything wrong with challenging your child, and what’s 2 more? But really, did it really matter? Was she going to be that much smarter when trying to force her to recite 2 more words?

It drew me to the thought – what kinds of things do I want to instill in my child? Do I care more about what she is good at, rather than her character? Do I care more about what she is able to do, rather than who she is? Do I spend more time on the outward than the inward? Our world idolizes talent. It puts it on this pedestal for the world to see – to showcase what we can DO. Just think sports. Shoot, think about how much professionals are paid for having a TALENT? Reality TV – singing and talent shows. It’s all about getting to the top and devoting our entire selves to the process.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with using our talents for God’s Kingdom. In fact, I think that’s what we are called to do – use them to serve God. But we have to realize, they are talents, not who we are. They are something that can be taken away. Whereas character, is who we represent. The heart and soul of who we are. Instead of thinking about what our daughter will be good at, what if instead, I worried more about her character? Does she display the fruits of the spirit? Do I pray those words over her? Do I teach those truths, just as much as I do other things?

Children were meant for more than just talents – they are meant to represent the character of God, just as much as we are. Will they make mistakes and get it wrong at times? Absolutely. JUST LIKE WE DO. Temper tantrums and all. But think about what you care more about? Them making that travel team? Or their kindness? Them excelling in school? Or their patience?

I know as parents we can only control so much, but I at least have to have the right starting point – and oh, do I have a long ways to go!

Who Is Your Child For?

Have you ever heard a parent come unglued at a sporting event, at the refs? Or even lose it at their child during a game? Ugh, I’ve heard and seen it happen WAY too many times and it makes me sick, every time. I just so badly want to ask, who is your child for? You? To make you look good? To make the team look good? Or are they made for something more? Don’t get me wrong, I can get frustrated about a bad call too. But next time, put yourself in that ref’s shoes. All I know is I sure don’t to, so I’ll just let them do their thing. And let my kid learn that they will make mistakes too.

So often, we can allow our kids to define who we are. I’ve been there. If our daughter misbehaved or lost it in a restaurant, I would take it personally. I wasn’t doing a good enough job. But for pete’s sake, Kristin, my child isn’t to make me look good as a parent. Oh Kristin, she has been made for so much more. She was made FOR GOD. Is she a gift of grace to us? Absolutely. But in the end, she was made for God. She was made to glorify HIM, and not me. She was made to proclaim HIS name, make HIM known, not me.

So let me ask you – who is your child for? Does God use children to sanctify and draw us closer to him? You bet! Has he given us children as a blessing? Of course! But we can’t forget that children were made for so much more – and that’s to give HIM glory. Not us.

Children Are Created For So Much More

Have you ever found yourself parenting either the same way you were raised or maybe even the opposite because you don’t want them to grow up like you did? Whatever the motive may be, children were not created to heal our pasts by fixing what was wrong in how we were raised, nor were they created to replicate exactly how we were. Now honestly, I wouldn’t change much about how I was raised and I am humbled to say that. My parents did the most excellent job at raising me. On the other hand though, God hasn’t called me to parent exactly like they did because I am not raising me. I am raising OUR daughter. Have I taken what I’ve learned from them and applied it to my parenting? Indeed! But I have to remember, Mazy is still different. She is a unique child of God, whom God has entrusted me to raise.

She was created to be Mazy. Not Kristin. And maybe you can think of things in your childhood and know for a fact, you will not be raising them the same way. And that’s okay! But we have to remember, we can’t, nor can a child, fix what was broken in the past. Only God can. Children were created for SO much more and we have to remember that when we try to either replicate or fix ourselves.

Value Is Found In Christ Alone

Like I mentioned earlier, we can’t live vicariously through our children, yet we see that SO often, don’t we? We become just as bummed, or even more saddened at a loss, than our child does. Is it because our hearts are broken for them? Okay, fine. But do we sometimes want it more than they do? But we have to realize, our value and our child’s value, is found in Christ. Alone. No talent. No victory. No grade, will give us more value. We are already redeemed in our Father’s eyes. He has already taken all of our brokenness and mistakes to the cross. We couldn’t be more righteous in his eyes. So why do we continue to try and find value in something that will never satisfy? That will never last? We will end up disappointed every single time. And we will only teach our children that value is found in success and achievements. Not in Christ. And how heartbroken I would be, if my child saw that in me. So I challenge myself with this – daily teach my child to find value in Christ. And in him ALONE.

Your child has been created for SO MUCH MORE. Our limited minds can distort and re-prioritize what’s important. And oh, so often, I GET IT WRONG. Just think of my sight word incident! The voices of the world are loud. But when I can remember that my child has been created for more than what our world sees, it places value on things that will last for an eternity. Character. Abiding in him. Glorifying him. And serving him WITH their talents, not FOR their talents. For our children were created for so much more. And we were too.