You Are Not Alone

Infertility is something I never understood much about until I started to have friends who struggled to get pregnant. Then lo and behold, we found our own struggle to have children because of my heart condition. As many of you know, we had a dear friend offer to be a gestational carrier for us, so we went through the IVF process. Even though God decided to take those babies home, a year ago God blessed us with our own little miracle, that I was able to give birth to naturally.

Our story is just one story. There are thousands of others out there who have gone through struggles to have children. Their desire is the same as everyone else’s – the desire to have a family.

I wanted to share with you the story of my friend Kristina, in light of National Infertility Awareness Week. Kristina and I went to the same high school and even though we hung out in different people groups, it was a connection that God had in the making. It was Kristina that offered encouragement, hope, and compassion during our IVF journey. It was her story that gave us encouragement that God has a purpose in every detail (especially since the IVF process is so intricate).

When she shared her story this week via Facebook, I did not have a dry eye. It reminded me of the hurts and struggles that so many women go through. And so many women struggle silently. I asked Kristina if she would be willing to let me share her story with you. She kindly agreed and I am thankful that she has chosen to be an open book as she says. Her story has not only blessed me, but I pray that it blesses you too. As you read her story, maybe you too, have or do struggle with infertility. Let this be an encouragement to you, that God is faithful and like she said, God performs miracles. Her 3 children (and let me tell you, they are BEAUTIFUL) are proof of that.

Here’s Kristina’s story:

April 24-30 is National Infertility Awareness Week. The theme this year is‪#‎StartAsking‬ . What does your infertility journey look like? I have always been an open book about mine.

I remember dreaming of becoming a mom. I always loved picking out baby names, even when I was a child. When pregnancy wasn’t happening after a long time of trying, I was getting so discouraged and sad. Then I suffered through 2 miscarriages. I thought I would never become a mom. I remember standing in the empty spare bedrooms of the house we built, dreaming of them becoming a nursery. I remember telling my friends that if Ryan and I were to never become parents, I would be okay with that, because we are the best of friends, but I just knew I had so much more love in my heart, to pour into a child.

After some unsuccessful steps taken with my OB, we decided to meet with Dr. Dodds at The Fertility Center. We have unexplained infertility, and so we started with IUI’s, since they’re less invasive, we were young, and we thought we may have success there. We did 3 of those, with no success. I remember the songs I listened to on the radio, on the way to the hospital, for my blood draws, early in the morning. I would pray the whole way there, that I would get a positive test. 3 times, it was negative. The call from the nurse would put me into tears, when she would say “I’m sorry, it was not a positive test”, and I would hang up the phone, and sob, and be so upset over all the money we “flushed down the drain”.

Then we decided to try the next step – IVF. It was even more expensive, but I was determined. I remember the distinct details of these fertility treatments. Everything was so time sensitive. So many injections and appointments. I remember how painful the egg retrieval was, and was so anxious to hear the next morning, how many embryos we had. Then was the transfer day. It would be just under 2 weeks, before we would get the results of whether the transfer was successful or not. I couldn’t handle the phone calls anymore, so I made Ryan answer the phone. My heart would start racing when I would see “The Fertility Center” calling on my screen. I hid under a blanket and plugged my ears, because I was so scared of bad news.

I remember Ryan, ripping the blanket off my head, giving me a great big thumbs up, and a hug, before he even hung up the phone!! Again, I was sobbing, only they were happy tears this time. God had blessed us. Brayla Hope, was born 9 months later. We used the middle name Hope, because we had hoped for a child for so long. After Brayla, we had another miscarriage (natural pregnancy). Our 2nd IVF attempt, was also successful, and we were blessed with Myla Faith. We used the name Faith, because we had faith that God would bless us again, after loss. Our 3rd IVF attempt was successful, and we were blessed with Asher Cade. We used Asher because it means happy/fortunate/blessed. And that is EXACTLY what we are.

We did have another miscarriage 1 year ago (natural pregnancy). They are never easy, even when you have other children to love on. Infertility has been part of my story. It’s part of my testimony. I wouldn’t change a thing. It has brought me so close to God. I know He performs miracles through the work of His people. My kids are living proof, and I am forever thankful.