Today was beautiful. Beautiful for so many reasons and it feels so good to say that. Many who live in Michigan are well aware of this, but today’s storms truly proved God’s power! The wind, cloud cover, and even warnings, are just a glimpse of God’s power through weather storms, but also reminded me today that He’s all-powerful through the storms of life.
Today was the first day that I was home alone for awhile and part of me was dreading it just because I didn’t know what it would bring. But in all honesty, it was wonderful. Yes I got choked up a few times just thinking, but at the same time, I didn’t have a complete cryfest and it felt so good. Maybe there are no tears left (wishful thinking) but I could feel God’s presence. I’ve really started getting into playing the piano again and I’ve tried to choose songs that I know the words to and really think about them. It’s been quite therapeutic! I’ve also been thinking about what I truly enjoy doing and making sure that I take time to do them – exercise, making cards, scrapbooking, reading a magazine, reading a good book (for those of you who know me it takes long enough to find that “good book”), listening to music, and a whole slew of other things. But God has given me joys in life and I need to find those things again.
And the most beautiful thing of today? Meeting with a very dear friend of mine. God knew exactly what I needed today. I gained so much from our conversations and I feel she was God’s earthly gift to me today – someone human/physical to talk to (I say physical/human b/c I can talk to God anytime). I was encouraged in SOOOO many ways and just realized that it’s okay. It’s okay with the way that I am dealing with this. It’s okay if this takes a little while to get over. It’s okay that Dan and I are dealing with this differently. It’s okay to not know what we want right now. It’s okay to not even want children right now b/c we need to deal with this. I just felt like “it’s okay” and that feeling is so peaceful. I sit here typing feeling like I’m “Kristin.” I’m not someone who is trying to put the happy face on right now. I feel refreshed. I feel understood. I feel “ahhh…” :).
This past weekend I kept thinking how hard this is going to be – and it is. But I feel each day we are taking steps forward in accepting the situation. I can feel God’s presence and see signs of His love for me everywhere – I just have to be aware. I look over and I see my beautiful husband – my best friend – and whether it is just him and I or not in our house for the rest of our life, I know I am blessed. Please join me in praising God for a good day today!