Reflections on a Good Housekeeping Article

In a recent issue of the magazine “Good Housekeeping,” I read an article called “Toddlers In Tiaras.” If you get this magazine, check it out – it is rather eye opening, yet so sad.

The reason the article was published was because it would be JonBenet Ramsey’s 21st birthday this month. There are many issues that they hit on that really made me wonder who are we serving and who are we living for?

Some of these girls started beauty pagaents as early as the age of 3 months old. They are told for the next how many years, what they need to look like, how they need to be smile perfect, look perfect, and basically be perfect. Wow. Let me remind you that a lot of these girls are like 5 or 6 years old. Girls at this age are taught to be a certain someone and if you’re not, you lose. What lesson is that teaching them? The only way to survive live is to be perfect and win? If they lose, a girl may cry b/c she didn’t get the “prize” that we were told they would win if they won. That is more heartbreaking to them than the fact that they didn’t win the “pagaent” part – they wanted the prize. What is that teaching them about material wealth? During the weekends, girls aren’t able to play outside or have sleepovers because they need to travel all day to the next beauty pagaent. What are we doing to these kids – are we robbing them of a life they deserve?

At that age, kids can’t make a logical decision around the issue I don’t think. It’s the parents who decide this is what’s right for your kids. One mother was quoted in the article, saying (after she had JUST said that her little girl could quit whenever she wanted to): “It’s on you, the whole thing. All the work, all the money – it’s all on you.” That just makes me shutter. First of all, parents have WAY too high of expectations for their kids sometimes to perform. I understand the part of wanting them to do their best – but to say it’s all on you? At that age, kids don’t need or deserve that kind of pressure. Second, who is performing? Is it the parent through the kid? Did the parent want a certain life, have low self-esteem, and who thought beauty pagaents would “make” their daughter beautiful? I just shake my head. Where are the values? Where is a mother’s UNCONDITIONAL love? Where is the desire for your child to be the best THEY can be?

And finally, the other issue that was brought up in the article that really struck me, was who are these children becoming? Nancy Irwin who is a psychotherapist, said “these little girls are being trained to look and act like sexual bait.” These girls are taught to wink at judges to get their attention, to walk in a way that gets attention, and to look like a certain way to get people’s attention. Again I sigh and wish these girls would only know what is going on! When these girls become teens, what are they going to do to get a guy’s attention? What do they feel they need to look like? How far are they going to go to get the attention that they want?

All these questions that I have and all I can say is that these girls need protection – what are they being told behind the scenes? Who are they being told they need to be? Who do these girls become? Is what they want, OKAY? Or is it “not good enough?” What if they can’t get what they want – are they taught that they deserve it? And finally, where does God fit in? Who does God want us to be? Who are we living for? Who are these parents living for and for that matter, living through?

Now I want to say I personally am not against local high school beauty pagaents because I can see how big of a resume builder they are. I think they are different. Those are not just “beauty” pagaents in my mind – they require a whole lot more. Though I suppose anything can be taken too far and taken above and beyond what it should be! That is with anything in life!

Being in youth ministry, we are the people who get the kids after they have been through their young childhood. And much of who they are, stems from how they were raised before. There are so many books, articles, and tips on how to raise kids. Nobody is perfect. We can’t be perfect. But what we can do is look to the Bible and see who God wants us to be, how God wants us to raise children, and what we need to encourage our kids in. Once again, focusing our eyes on our CREATOR, will help us shuffle through what God wants and what the world wants for our kids. Let’s keep our focus on Christ and not on that which will die and decay!