Breakfast, Brenda, and Baby
On Friday, Brenda and I sat down to catch up on the excitement of the gestational carrier process.
What a joyous time it was!
I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to sit and talk about the process, and EVERY TIME, get more and more excited. You would think that after almost 6 months of knowing, that the novelty of it would wear off. Let me tell you, it doesn’t! For that we are so thankful and we take that as a sign from God that we are meant to keep pursuing it.
Brenda asked me if anything about the process makes me sad. Honestly, it’s sometimes hard to see announcements of people getting pregnant on facebook. I know I could rid myself of those feelings by just unsubscribing from facebook, but the reason it’s hard is because sometimes I would love to just be a mom to my own family. But then I am reminded of the “kids” we do have, and that rids me of all those selfish desires! I see pictures of ultrasounds and ya know what? If this process works, I too, will get to experience that. I too, will get to feel a baby kick. I too, will talk to my baby in the womb. I too, get to see a baby being born. I too, will get to hold my own child. All because of God’s and Brenda’s gift.
She was saying again how much she wants us to be a part of the pregnancy if this works. Anytime we talk about the pregnancy, you cannot wipe the smile off my face. Actually I say the same for her too. So many excited emotions running through – I KNOW God will give us a family someday – we don’t know what it will look like, but we pray that through Brenda’s gift and God’s gift of life, that maybe our family will consist of a child “from” our own flesh and blood. And if it doesn’t work, God will still fill us with an incredible joy.
We were talking about what the actual egg retrieval and implantation days would look like. Oh how we wish it all happened on the same day! We were saying how fun it would be to be on hospital beds right next to each other! It would probably get a little crazy b/c we sure laugh a lot when we get together, but all we want is it to just be a combined process – something we ALL feel a part of. Same for our husbands. Already, the joy this process has brought to us 4, has been incredible and indescribable. To sit across the room from a couple who would give their lives for us. To give so much of their love to us. Still makes me cry.
Even though we are in the lull, it’s okay. It’s so hard sometimes and frustrating at times, but it’s times like breakfast with Brenda, that make it ALL worth while!
If you would ask me right now about the process, look out – you would see a GIANT smile on my face and an excitement pouring out. Praise God for giving us continuous joy in this process!