A Few More Details

So what has life looked like for us since finding out?

First, there has been a lot of joy in this house! Dan and I would walk past each other and just giggle. We would be sitting on the couch and randomly say, “this is so crazy” and just laugh. Laugh with excitement, like the giddy laugh, but also laugh at just the uniqueness of the situation. I think of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 17 and 18 where they BOTH laughed – laughed at their age. As Jesus says in Matthew 19:26 – With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Who says the Bible isn’t relevant today? To know God has answered our prayers in such a mighty way, in an “impossible” way with man, brings such joy. Dan and I have been earnestly praying that God would answer the “BIG” prayers in our life – one of them being kids. We would pray that multiple times a day – for God to just give us guidance and direction. Boy did He ever! He gave a person and a way – Brenda, our carrier.

We have also been very busy trying to figure out what all of this means. Brenda and Tim were incredibly helpful! When they presented the idea to us, they also had a whole folder full of info. It took us about a whole week to digest it all, but once we did, we felt we had a pretty good grasp on the process. I will be honest that the thought of having to do invitro was not real thrilling. In fact, I cried about it because I just never thought we would have to do this process. I thought the heart stuff was enough – but then to have to go through invitro too? BUT. I remember talking to my mom one day (btw…she has been absolutely AMAZING through this whole process). She said that at least we will know if we can have our own kids! That is SO true! I take for granted the fact that yeah my heart won’t allow for children, but what about my female body? This sounds wierd, but it’s almost like killing two birds with one stone – being able to have our own, and figuring out if we CAN have our own. After that conversation, I became okay with having to do invitro. We know it is a long process and that it might not work. But like I’ve said before, this whole process has nothing to do with us – God is organizing it all – we just need to follow.

So, with a gestational carrier, it is a 5 step process. First step is called the ovulation induction, where I will take meds to stimulate the development of multiple eggs. Second, I will have those eggs removed. Third, they will fertilize my egg(s) with Dan’s sperm, making it 100% our child (so exciting!). If they take, then Brenda will take meds to prepare her uterus for the embryo transfer. Finally, the embryo transfer occurs, meaning Brenda will receive the embryo (instead of me). To be quite honest, it took me about 2-3 days to fully understand the process. I am incredibly naive in this area of life! Thankfully I was able to talk to others who have gone through this process and they were able to put it in English for me.

And yes, we are going to try to fertilize 2, which means we may have TWINS. (I just got chills typing that!). A few weeks later Tim and Brenda asked if we had ever thought about twins? Once again, we would NEVER ask for that, so we didn’t think anything of it. So we started to pray about that and realized that is the route we believe we are to go. Why? Well, the process is long and costly. Obviously it is not a guarantee either. By fertilizing two though, we are increasing the chances of it working. If only one takes, great! If two take, great! Between us 4 we decided that would be completely in God’s hands (then again, any pregnancy is!). We just felt that by doing two, it would maximize the opportunity. Dan and I believe that once an egg is fertilized, it is a human, so we would not fertilize more than we are willing to have implanted. We do not believe in discarding them because we believe that is abortion. So, that is where we stand right now. I sometimes have to pinch myself and say “you are not only going to possibly have your own, but possible TWO.” AHHHHH!!!! Dan and I just feel so blessed – we would be so happy and thankful with one, but God just continues to open doors! And us 4 will walk through them until He closes them.

Another big piece was finding a lawyer. In fact, it is required that the “Intended Parents” (Dan and I) have an attorney and a contract set up, prior to having any procedures. Yikes is all I said when I first read we needed one! Again, I never thought I would have to hire a lawyer in my LIFE – that’s usually something that you don’t want to have to do. But for us, this is a positive reason for needing one! We were given two recommendations from the Fertility Center in Grand Rapids. We researched them and found one! We have been in contact with him and he seems great! I will say I have to learn the lawyer vocab, but it’s all a process, right?

It has been a little crazy at the Sterks since being offered this gift, but such an amazing crazy! Dan and I just talk and talk at night (even though we are supposed to be sleeping) – dreaming, wondering, and just enjoying every moment! We know there is much to learn and much to figure out yet, but we have time. God’s timing. We will continue to move forward until He says stop and we will continue forward in faith.