Chemo Update

I thought I’d share a bit about what’s been going on the past two days! Yesterday was a bit of a rough one for various reasons, but one of the things we are trying to find balance with is keeping enough fluids in me for the chemo to work appropriately, but not too much where my body retains it and then causes worsening heart failure symptoms. We are still working on finding that balance, but I think we are heading in the right direction today.

I also have started back on my anti-arrhythmia meds which throws my body for a loop regardless of having chemo treatments or not, so hopefully the body will adjust soon to those as well. There sure are a lot of medications this body is getting on a daily basis and it’s a wonder how our stomachs can handle them all, but so far so good!

I can’t begin to tell you how much I am grateful for God’s guidance in all of this. A week ago, I was admitted to monitor my PVCs (extra beats) in preparation for my ablation. Now a week later, I sit here with leukemia, heart failure, and 3, almost 4 rounds of chemo in me. It still blows me away and I still get a little choked up if I think about it too long. I look at the picture of our daughter on my window ledge and of course wish life “was the way it was”. Though I know deep down, I would be missing out on the blessings and trials God has me here. The people I’ve been able to meet. The nurses who have become friends. The tech woman who knows how to make a woman feel fresh with the best shower supplies. The doctors who are working tirelessly on my case. It is no mistake that God allowed what he did last Thursday, for my good.

As for chemo. The doctors decided to increase my chemo by one day, so I will do 5 rounds of the initial instead of 4, and then the last day, the 6th day, do what I call “a special round” because I have no idea what it does or how to pronounce either of the words :). With doing it this way, they believe I will have a better chance at remission at the end. It is hard to imagine what remission looks like because the journey feels SO long to get there, but I do have to take it day by day and sometimes 1/2 hour by 1/2 hour. Heart failure alone can be difficult, but add on the pressures of the body changing with chemo, it can feel like a lot. So far though, I have just felt more tired and my body a little weaker, but that’s the only changes I have felt that are different. I’ve had numerous levels off too, but nothing a supplement through the IV can’t fix. I still have my hair too! From day 5 (which would be tomorrow), through day 14ish, those are the hardest days I’m told, so I’m praying I can make it through the next 11 with minimal side effects. I’m nervous and scared for what those days will look like. Everyone reacts differently, BUt I just pray God’s amazing grace over those days. Some days they said I will barely be able to get out of bed and others, take walks. But I’m PRAYING I have more of the latter!

Here’s what life has been looking like for me, the majority of the day! Tied up to my good ole IV machine getting supplements, chemo, anti who knows what drugs, and the whole shebang!

Here’s my PICC line and the heart monitor that I have to wear the entire time as well. I am one wired mess and I look ridiculous with having all of these wires hanging from me all the time, but this is what survival of heart failure and leukemia looks like these days…

We are just overwhelmed by the love, prayers, and support we have been shown through all of this! Through the small details to the bigger ones. I still get overwhelmed by our circumstances and how this is all going to play out, but like I was reminded this morning after a hard day yesterday, his mercies are new every morning. And they FELT new this morning. Praising God for that. I will try and continue to post as much as I can, though my life situation in my room doesn’t change quickly :). As Mazy says, “It’s cozy Mom!” It sure is. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for walking this journey with us!