Choosing To Beat Cancer
When I heard the words “curable cancer”, I right away thought, “I’m going to beat this leukemia”. For surely, the only way to “beat” cancer was to be cured from it. Or so I thought.
Since then, I’ve learned that beating cancer is so much more than just being cured from it. It’s about choosing to not let it beat you. This is where it is a daily battle, not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
When I choose to beat cancer, I’m choosing to not let it control me. THAT is one of the hardest pieces in this journey because it is all I ever do. It’s all I ever deal with. It’s the only places I go (cancer doctor, transfusions, treatments). It’s my goal in a day, to try and feel like I am more than cancer. But in choosing to beat cancer, I need to choose GOD and rely on his strength and power, not on the strength and power of the chemo and medications. For those are only tools that God may use to help deplete the cancer.
Though there are days when I feel like cancer has beat me. When I am nauseous, can’t keep my eyes open, body feels week, and my numbers are depleted. (By numbers I mean the sickness, virus, and infection fighting numbers). On more than one occasion, I wanted to throw in the towel. But in doing so, I felt like cancer was beating me and I refused to let that happen. But that’s where again, I was allowing cancer to control my thoughts and life. What I need to do in those moments is fall at my Father’s feet and tell Him I just can’t do it without Him. How I need His grace, strength, and power to help me get through this trial.
Leukemia may forever be a part of my life and maybe it won’t. But regardless of what happens, daily I can choose to beat cancer by choosing to rely on GOD for my strength. For what He’s doing in my spiritual heart and life is far greater healing than any chemotherapy can give. When we can keep a heavenly perspective in our earthly circumstances, the natural result is a mending of our souls. Sometimes we wish God would choose other ways to sanctify us, but through His sovereignty and perfect plan, He knows just what “medicine” we need to draw us to Him and make us more like Him.
TO GOD BE THE GLORY.
